Two nights ago I had one of the most interesting nights here in Amman, I sat with two female friends of mine for the whole day-watching movies, eating and drinking-and of course TALKING!!!! We talked about everything, from politics, to having soul, and the existence of God. But of course at some point it turned to MEN-especially when i took out the ever so famous book: He's Just Not that Into You.
I was telling them about what my dad told me, its a statement that has truly terrified me. He told me that most if not all the men that I know-Arab men-are not as open minded as I might like to think. He went on to say that Lulwa, you have to realise that even though they all studied abroad, and have gone out with women from different cultures, and have friends from different countries, they still see a woman as their property. They will marry the virgin, they will marry the woman who will most likely sit at home. I didn't believe him, I couldn't believe him!!!! I am a feminist I couldn't imagine that the men who I am friends with are actually exactly like their fathers and forefathers.
So I did an experiment, I started to talk to my male friends, ask them questions without being over obvious. I asked them that if they would allow their sisters to have their boyfriends over like they were allowed to have their girlfriends over? I asked them if they would happily stay home and take care of the kids, if their wives decided to stay at work? So the answer to the first question, was the I got eyebrows raised! So I kind of didn't press the topic.
The second question got the discussion going, la2no they were willing to talk about it. Some said inno they would both work, others-with a little smirk-stated that they wouldn't mind staying home if she made more money. But there were a few who stated: that kids need their mothers more then their fathers, and as such the mother should stay home. The look of horror on my face...yes you can imagine!
So in conclusion-which I am sure very few of you men and maybe even some women will not agree with-the most open-minded of men in the Arab world-and maybe internationally-are still Chauvinist gits...who want to own their woman!
04 September 2006
It's Been Emotional.
My friend last night told me to be selfish...I kind of didn't get it...any pointers...he didn't mean it about money or something like that...I think he meant-well not quite sure...fa lets see if any of you can give me a hint!
To Listen or not to Listen
It is sad when one has to say bye to a stage of ones life. Going to university, leaving university, starting a job, leaving a job...so on so forth...you get my drift. Bas I think one of the saddest things is losing a friend, well not so much losing bas more deciding that you can no longer be friends with each other.
I would like to make a note here, this is NOT a personal entry, I am not talking about any friend in particular in MY life, I am just considering something.
So back to the point I was making, is that there are friends you have that at some point you realise-no this not working. I had friends of mine from high school who after the first three months at university I was no longer able to communicate with them, or them with me. We just had grown apart. Natural...and as thus not so upsetting. But I think when it is quite upsetting is when you just don't know why...bas you no longer like someone. You still love them-as a friend or as a lover-bas you just don't LIKE them. I used to hear that all the time in movies and what not and never really understood it. But it makes sense...it really does. You can love someone and love em deeply..bas just not like em very much. They are either to loud, or to quite, to open or emotionally constipated. Whatever the reason, you just don't want them part of your life anymore, and I think that is one of the saddest changes that happens in ones life. But also one of the healthest!
I would like to make a note here, this is NOT a personal entry, I am not talking about any friend in particular in MY life, I am just considering something.
So back to the point I was making, is that there are friends you have that at some point you realise-no this not working. I had friends of mine from high school who after the first three months at university I was no longer able to communicate with them, or them with me. We just had grown apart. Natural...and as thus not so upsetting. But I think when it is quite upsetting is when you just don't know why...bas you no longer like someone. You still love them-as a friend or as a lover-bas you just don't LIKE them. I used to hear that all the time in movies and what not and never really understood it. But it makes sense...it really does. You can love someone and love em deeply..bas just not like em very much. They are either to loud, or to quite, to open or emotionally constipated. Whatever the reason, you just don't want them part of your life anymore, and I think that is one of the saddest changes that happens in ones life. But also one of the healthest!
The Crocodile Hunter
Stephen Robert "Steve" Irwin
(22 February 1962 – 4 September 2006)
-Was an Australian environmentalist and television personality. He was best known for the television program The Crocodile Hunter, an unconventional wildlife documentary series which he hosted with his wife Terri Irwin. Irwin's personality and outrageous antics in the series made him an international celebrity. He also owned and operated the Australia Zoo at Beerwah in Queensland.
Death
In the early afternoon of 4 September 2006, Irwin was fatally stung in the chest by a stingray barb off the Great Barrier Reef in Australia while filming an underwater documentary.
Shortly after 11:00 a.m. local time, Irwin was filming in the Low Isles near Port Douglas, north of Cairns, Queensland, Australia, where he was stung either through his heartor through the left side of his chest and suffered cardiac arrest. After he was stung, his crew called for medical help and the Queensland Rescue Helicopter responded, taking him to Cairns Base Hospital. However, Irwin was immediately pronounced dead at the scene. The Queensland Police Service notified his family and released a statement for the media concerning the event.
16 August 2006
Pictures
My parents have moved back to Amman...having to be forced out of Beirut...anyway I had put pictures of my friends on the fridge-am that sort of person-when the house was all mine...bas since they are back I decided to bring the pictures down...so I put some up on my mirror in my bathroom. Thought it was cute...and my mirror is huge fa doesn't really get in the way.
BUT....
I realised inno it is kind of strange...to be brushing my teeth, combing my hair, getting out of the shower and having my friends there WATCHING! I am sure we have all heard the myth that when camera's first came out-and in some cultures around the world-they believe that when you take a picture of someone you take a part of their soul...also in Harry Potter books the pictures move...fa the other day as I was coming out of the shower and wrapping myself in a towel I looked up and saw them all-looking at me...and it kind of freaked me out. What if their eyes looking out at me could transfer to the real person what they were seeing???? What if all them had just seen me NAKED! I was creaped out...and I still am...bas somehow I didn't take the pictures down...lol...think that this all part of my exhibitionist side of my personality...but think about it would it not be freaky to think that all the pictures of me out there in the world-stuck on my friends fridges...put in frames...could bring me the images of my friends. While they sat in their living rooms watching tv, cooking lunch...coming out of SHOWERS...it would be fun...like being a fly in their houses...aw even better like being an invisible woman able to travel around the world just by having my picture taken and stuck on someone's fridge, bathroom mirror.
BUT....
I realised inno it is kind of strange...to be brushing my teeth, combing my hair, getting out of the shower and having my friends there WATCHING! I am sure we have all heard the myth that when camera's first came out-and in some cultures around the world-they believe that when you take a picture of someone you take a part of their soul...also in Harry Potter books the pictures move...fa the other day as I was coming out of the shower and wrapping myself in a towel I looked up and saw them all-looking at me...and it kind of freaked me out. What if their eyes looking out at me could transfer to the real person what they were seeing???? What if all them had just seen me NAKED! I was creaped out...and I still am...bas somehow I didn't take the pictures down...lol...think that this all part of my exhibitionist side of my personality...but think about it would it not be freaky to think that all the pictures of me out there in the world-stuck on my friends fridges...put in frames...could bring me the images of my friends. While they sat in their living rooms watching tv, cooking lunch...coming out of SHOWERS...it would be fun...like being a fly in their houses...aw even better like being an invisible woman able to travel around the world just by having my picture taken and stuck on someone's fridge, bathroom mirror.
Ironic
We all know the song...isn't it IRONIC...well today I found something that could go brilliantly on the list...having an abundance of ciggies and no form of lightage for them!!!! I am frustrated with the fact that my parents smoke...yet I can't find a lighter/match/oven igniter...ANYTHING...to light my BLOODY FAGS!!!
As the magnet on my fridge states:
Give the Bitchy Nicotine Queen her damn Cigarettes!
As the magnet on my fridge states:
Give the Bitchy Nicotine Queen her damn Cigarettes!
12 August 2006
Just had to Post this...
As usual I am doing my usual reading of newpapers online...Guardian, AlQuds, and then Haaretz-for good measure-and I come across this article...Bleeding-heart ignoramuses
By Julie Burchill Not sure what I think of it...well I do know what I think of it...typical Israeli tripe...bas thought it would be interesting for people to read what this author said...the quote that most stands out: "That Israel is fighting the frontline war, on behalf of the freedom and civilization of all of us, against the very real evils of shari'a law never seems to occur to these bleeding-heart ignoramuses." She then goes on to say: "The conflict has sent this tendency into overdrive, with not just the usual Masochist Hacks For Mohammed such as Robert Fisk (beaten up by Islamists, says they were right to do it) and Yvonne Ridley (kidnapped by Islamists, then became one) getting their chadors in a twist about big swarthy men with tea-towels on their heads treating the West mean and keeping it - in their case at least - keen."
I don't know if one should laugh or cry when this read this. ENJOY!!!!!
By Julie Burchill Not sure what I think of it...well I do know what I think of it...typical Israeli tripe...bas thought it would be interesting for people to read what this author said...the quote that most stands out: "That Israel is fighting the frontline war, on behalf of the freedom and civilization of all of us, against the very real evils of shari'a law never seems to occur to these bleeding-heart ignoramuses." She then goes on to say: "The conflict has sent this tendency into overdrive, with not just the usual Masochist Hacks For Mohammed such as Robert Fisk (beaten up by Islamists, says they were right to do it) and Yvonne Ridley (kidnapped by Islamists, then became one) getting their chadors in a twist about big swarthy men with tea-towels on their heads treating the West mean and keeping it - in their case at least - keen."
I don't know if one should laugh or cry when this read this. ENJOY!!!!!
06 August 2006
V-day
I come from the "down there" generation. That is, those were the words-spoken rarely and in a hushed voice-that the women in my family used to refer to all female genitalia, internal or external.
It wasn't that they were ignorant of terms like vagina, labia, vulva, or clitoris. On the contrary, they were trained to be teachers and probably had more access to information than most.
It wasn't even that they were unliberated, or "straitlaced," as they would have put it. One grandmother earned money from her strict Protestant church by ghostwriting sermons-of which she didn't believe a word-and then earned more by betting it on horse races. The other was a suffragist, educator, and even an early political candidate, all to the alarm of many in her Jewish community. As for my own mother, she had been a pioneer newspaper reporter years before I was born, and continued to take pride in bringing up her two daughters in a more enlightened way than she had been raised. I don't remember her using any of the slang words that made the female body seem dirty or shameful, and I'm grateful for that. As you'll see in these pages, many daughters grew up with a greater burden.
Nonetheless, I didn't hear words that were accurate, much less prideful. For example, I never once heard the word clitoris. It would be years before I learned that females possessed the only organ in the human body with no function other than to feel pleasure. (If such an organ were unique to the male body, can you imagine how much we would hear about it-and what it would be used to justify?) Thus, whether I was learning to talk, to spell, or to take care of my own body; I was told the name of each of its amazing parts except in one unmentionable area. This left me unprotected against the shaming words and dirty jokes of the school yard and, later, against the popular belief that men, whether as lovers or physicians, knew more about women's bodies than women did.
I first glimpsed the spirit of self-knowledge and freedom that you will find in these pages when I lived in India for a couple of years after college. In Hindu temples and shrines I saw the lingam, an abstract male genital symbol, but I also saw the yoni, a female genital symbol, for the first time: a flowerlike shape, triangle, or double-pointed oval. I was told that thousands of years ago, this symbol had been worshiped as more powerful than its male counterpart, a belief that carried over into Tantrism, whose central tenet is man's inability to reach spiritual fulfillment except through sexual and emotional union with woman's superior spiritual energy. It was a belief so deep and wide that even some of the woman-excluding, monotheistic religions that came later retained it in their traditions, although such beliefs were (and still are) marginalized or denied as heresies by mainstream religious leaders.
For example: Gnostic Christians worshiped Sophia as the female Holy Spirit and considered Mary Magdalene the wisest of Christ's disciples; Tantric Buddhism still teaches that Buddhahood resides in the vulva; the Sufi mystics of Islam believe that fana, or rapture, can be reached only through Fravahi, the female spirit; the Shekina of Jewish mysticism is a version of Shakti, the female soul of God; and even the Catholic church included forms of Mary worship that focused more on the Mother than on the Son. In many countries of Asia, Africa, and other parts of the world where gods are still depicted in female as well as in male forms, altars feature the Jewel in the Lotus and other representations of the Lingam-in-the-yoni. In India, the Hindu goddesses Durga and Kali are embodiments of the yoni powers of birth and death, creation and destruction.
* * * * *
Excerpted from The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler.
It wasn't that they were ignorant of terms like vagina, labia, vulva, or clitoris. On the contrary, they were trained to be teachers and probably had more access to information than most.
It wasn't even that they were unliberated, or "straitlaced," as they would have put it. One grandmother earned money from her strict Protestant church by ghostwriting sermons-of which she didn't believe a word-and then earned more by betting it on horse races. The other was a suffragist, educator, and even an early political candidate, all to the alarm of many in her Jewish community. As for my own mother, she had been a pioneer newspaper reporter years before I was born, and continued to take pride in bringing up her two daughters in a more enlightened way than she had been raised. I don't remember her using any of the slang words that made the female body seem dirty or shameful, and I'm grateful for that. As you'll see in these pages, many daughters grew up with a greater burden.
Nonetheless, I didn't hear words that were accurate, much less prideful. For example, I never once heard the word clitoris. It would be years before I learned that females possessed the only organ in the human body with no function other than to feel pleasure. (If such an organ were unique to the male body, can you imagine how much we would hear about it-and what it would be used to justify?) Thus, whether I was learning to talk, to spell, or to take care of my own body; I was told the name of each of its amazing parts except in one unmentionable area. This left me unprotected against the shaming words and dirty jokes of the school yard and, later, against the popular belief that men, whether as lovers or physicians, knew more about women's bodies than women did.
I first glimpsed the spirit of self-knowledge and freedom that you will find in these pages when I lived in India for a couple of years after college. In Hindu temples and shrines I saw the lingam, an abstract male genital symbol, but I also saw the yoni, a female genital symbol, for the first time: a flowerlike shape, triangle, or double-pointed oval. I was told that thousands of years ago, this symbol had been worshiped as more powerful than its male counterpart, a belief that carried over into Tantrism, whose central tenet is man's inability to reach spiritual fulfillment except through sexual and emotional union with woman's superior spiritual energy. It was a belief so deep and wide that even some of the woman-excluding, monotheistic religions that came later retained it in their traditions, although such beliefs were (and still are) marginalized or denied as heresies by mainstream religious leaders.
For example: Gnostic Christians worshiped Sophia as the female Holy Spirit and considered Mary Magdalene the wisest of Christ's disciples; Tantric Buddhism still teaches that Buddhahood resides in the vulva; the Sufi mystics of Islam believe that fana, or rapture, can be reached only through Fravahi, the female spirit; the Shekina of Jewish mysticism is a version of Shakti, the female soul of God; and even the Catholic church included forms of Mary worship that focused more on the Mother than on the Son. In many countries of Asia, Africa, and other parts of the world where gods are still depicted in female as well as in male forms, altars feature the Jewel in the Lotus and other representations of the Lingam-in-the-yoni. In India, the Hindu goddesses Durga and Kali are embodiments of the yoni powers of birth and death, creation and destruction.
* * * * *
Excerpted from The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler.
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