Why is it an insult?

I have always been a feminists, and am very proud of that fact. I truly believe in the equality of the two sexs, not that women are better then men, nor am I a one of those women who does not shave her legs, or burns her bras. I know that there quite a few men out there, who believe that feminists are men haters, women who don't believe in equality but in the fact that females are just better in every way to men. So I understand why men find it intimidating and sometimes scared when a woman they know says she is a feminist...well not so much understand, but can see their logic. But what I find really disturbing is the fact that there are women out that who find being called a feminist as an insult. I think that is what is truly upsetting...I would like it if men were not scared by feminists, but I get all in knots when I hear a woman say "No I am not a feminist!"
I think that is us, the new generation women who decide what feminism is. For me, it is all about women getting the space within our society to make decisions. I have huge arguments with my mother, for she is an older generation of feminists, she does not believe that women should stay at home, they should all go out and get careers and have a family also. For me what it is all about, is that I want to know that when a woman decides to be a stay at home mom, it is not because she feels that is what her husband wants, or what her society expects, but that she decides. She is well educated, and has been in the work force, that she truly and honestly has the space to make the decision. I don't think that exists in our Arab culture-or any other culture to be fair-women do not REALLY have the space to make that sort of decision without feeling as if they are being judged. The judging can be done by other women, who don't' understand why a woman would want to stay a home, or by society who can not believe that a woman can have a career and bring up her children. How can half of society, the person who has the burden/gift-depending on how you feel about it-of giving birth, how can she be uneducated, underpaid, and her work so under appreciated. Why is it that at the family clubs here in Jordan-such as the Royal Automobile club-the boys of the family have to open their own membership when they turn 25, but the women stay under the family membership till they get married?
I checked on the UNDP webpage for Human Development Reports, and found that when it comes to women, Jordan is not doing as well as I thought. According to it, Jordan is number 73 from 140 countries when it comes to building capacity for women. Its number 132 when it comes to the number of women in parliament. Where Rwanda is the first!!!!
I think that the only way that women in any society can get ahead, is when we can sit with each other and are able to work together, which means that women no longer feel that being called a feminist as an insult, but as a complement, and not even that, but as normal...We are all feminists.

Something New

I have been looking at the Jordanian blogs for quite a while now, and have decided that it is about time that I started to have a voice for myself. I am not quite sure yet what will be the aim of my writings, I guess it will be sometimes personal and sometimes Political. But I love the idea behind these blogs, the freedom that they have given people, especially us, the Arabs. I always thought that what Aljazeera used to do, with the polls on its web-page and then the show that comes Minbar AlJazeera, where we can call in and speak our mind was amazing.
But these blogs are even more amazing...they are unrestricted freedom to say what you want, and how you want it.
I am not very good with criticism-must be part of my only child syndrome-but I think this will be healthy, some people will agree with what I say, others will find it annoying and pointless...but guess that is the whole point of freedom...as long as I don't step over anyone else's rights, then really no one can tell me no you can't say that, or yes you can do that...anyway...I am only just starting this, so please be nice:)

Selfish Versus Selfless

I have recently been having a discussion with a few of my friends about this book that I love. I discovered it a few years ago during my time in Tanzania, its called Atlas Shrugged, written by this amazing woman Ayn Rand. This novel is seen by most people as Rand's most complete statement of her objectivism philosophy. I don't want to go into it much here, in the appendix of Atlas Shrugged she offered this summary: "My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute."
The magic in my opinion of Rand's philosophy is that she is saying that there is nothing wrong with saying that what you are doing is for your own good. That working to make yourself happy, will in the long run end up helping the people around you. She argues that independence and individual achievement drive the world, and should be embraced. Her worldview requires a 'rational' moral code. She disputes the notion that self-sacrifice is a virtue. The idea that each person is responsible for achieving his/her own rational self-interest is what I find to be quite revolutionary-if that is the right word-for there is a difference between rational self-interest and what she calls "selfishness without a self"-which is a moment selfishness to promote the self that has no esteem. She uses the example of thieves, stating that instead of using "that which promotes the concept of human life," as their standard of values, they promote "that which I value" as the standard, thus leaving a blank check on what is and what isn't moral.
What this all means-and why I find it revolutionary-is that it allows one to think that is fine to think of oneself, to consider what would make my life better, what would make me happier. For in the long run that would help everyone around me. It makes me feel good to give charity, to volunteer at organisation-UNRWA, Cancer Research-and by then going out and doing that, I help the people around, my society.
The discussion that happened between my friends and I , was the fact that quite a few people find it hard to swallow when one says that there is nothing called a selfless act. We don't do anything just for the sake of it-everything good, every decision that is made with the propose of promoting the concept of human life, is valid. During the discussion many examples were bought up, the one that I found the hardest to think in Randian terms was when my friends bought up the fact that they have to pick me up and bring me home-since I do not have a car at this moment. Now one could think that when any of my friends comes to pick me up, and then drive me home, that they are doing a purely selfless act-that they gain nothing from it. But there is another way of thinking about it, by picking me up and bringing me home, they have someone with them in the car, that promotes their happiness and at the same time mine-they get to have a companion, and I get to go out and see my friends. Also where ever we end up going, I must bring some sort of enjoyment to the sitting, willa why would they call me and pick me up. So in Randian terms-and I hope this is making sense to people-when I get picked up and brought home by any of my friends, it is not a selfless act. But truly a rational selfishness, we all gain, we are all happy.
I think the true power of Rand and this novel, is that it has made me think in a completely different way, whenever I make a decision I see that I no longer think in terms of what do other people want, how can I make others happy. But what will make me happy. This can also be explained when one talks about ones parents. I am the only child, and am very close to both my mother and father, and I ask their opinion on most decision that I have to make about my future. There have been quite a few times when my parents and I didn't agree on a course of action-one being my decision to come back to Amman and find a job here-they wanted me to stay abroad, and find a job there. I think that me coming back was a rationally selfish act, I don't have to pay rent anymore, or think about bills, and the fridge is always full and my laundry is done. But at the same time I am close to my parents, I am bringing my experience and education back to Jordan where I will inshallah find a job and work hard.
So all in all the point of Randism is this:
"To live, man must hold three things as the supreme and ruling values of his life: Reason, Purpose, Self-Esteem"