Why is it an insult?

I have always been a feminists, and am very proud of that fact. I truly believe in the equality of the two sexs, not that women are better then men, nor am I a one of those women who does not shave her legs, or burns her bras. I know that there quite a few men out there, who believe that feminists are men haters, women who don't believe in equality but in the fact that females are just better in every way to men. So I understand why men find it intimidating and sometimes scared when a woman they know says she is a feminist...well not so much understand, but can see their logic. But what I find really disturbing is the fact that there are women out that who find being called a feminist as an insult. I think that is what is truly upsetting...I would like it if men were not scared by feminists, but I get all in knots when I hear a woman say "No I am not a feminist!"
I think that is us, the new generation women who decide what feminism is. For me, it is all about women getting the space within our society to make decisions. I have huge arguments with my mother, for she is an older generation of feminists, she does not believe that women should stay at home, they should all go out and get careers and have a family also. For me what it is all about, is that I want to know that when a woman decides to be a stay at home mom, it is not because she feels that is what her husband wants, or what her society expects, but that she decides. She is well educated, and has been in the work force, that she truly and honestly has the space to make the decision. I don't think that exists in our Arab culture-or any other culture to be fair-women do not REALLY have the space to make that sort of decision without feeling as if they are being judged. The judging can be done by other women, who don't' understand why a woman would want to stay a home, or by society who can not believe that a woman can have a career and bring up her children. How can half of society, the person who has the burden/gift-depending on how you feel about it-of giving birth, how can she be uneducated, underpaid, and her work so under appreciated. Why is it that at the family clubs here in Jordan-such as the Royal Automobile club-the boys of the family have to open their own membership when they turn 25, but the women stay under the family membership till they get married?
I checked on the UNDP webpage for Human Development Reports, and found that when it comes to women, Jordan is not doing as well as I thought. According to it, Jordan is number 73 from 140 countries when it comes to building capacity for women. Its number 132 when it comes to the number of women in parliament. Where Rwanda is the first!!!!
I think that the only way that women in any society can get ahead, is when we can sit with each other and are able to work together, which means that women no longer feel that being called a feminist as an insult, but as a complement, and not even that, but as normal...We are all feminists.