I have come to realise that I am extremely mean to my parents. Bas I am especially harsh on my mom, I don't know why. I know that I am a daddy's girl...always got my way with my dad, he was my companion while my mom was working (he is a stay at home dad), used to come home and watch Mary Poppins with him while we have lunch...he makes the best Homous with meat I have ever tasted...and it was always me and him against my mom.
But my relationship with my mom has always been a bit on the rocky side, I love her, and enjoy her company-for a certain amount of time-but then we start to fight, we start to see how far we can push the other. I know that I have very high expectation of my mom, I expect her to understand me from only two words, sometimes without me having to say anything, I expect her to feel the same about things as I do, I expect her to act in certain ways, to behave in other ways...as many expectations as she has of me, I have of her. I guess that is why our relationship is so volatile sometimes, it's because we are just so similar, our weaknesses our strengths, just the way we view life, I have come to realise as I grow up and get to know my mom not only as Mama bas as Fatoum, that I am a carbon copy of her. She has in a way molded me to become her, and even though Khalil Gubrain states that: You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. Seems like my mother didn't listen to this Prophet!
Don't misunderstand me, I am very attached to my mom, her opinion of me is the most important one, that in all I do and everything I strive for is for her to be proud of me, for me to hear her says, "Wallah I am so proud of you." I know that she has worked so hard all her life, to make sure that I am provided with all that I could ever think of-am an only child and kind of spoilt-but I also know that with all this have come a list of expectations that I think would go around the Earth three times if my mom had a chance to write them out. Guess this shows how weird and complicated the relationship between mothers and daughters, I can't seem to make a good comment about my mom with adding something negative next to it. Just as when she sees me going out somewhere will say "nice shoes, bas do you have to wear that colour? "
Bas I am very mean to a great woman, and have decided that I need to become softer with my mom, to allow her to need me, to allow her to disappoint me I guess, just to allow my mom to feel comfortable with her daughter.
Guess that we no longer are mama and beintha, bas Fatima and Lulwa!
Ey ya!
ReplyDeleteIt's quite funny that this is the first topc I chose to read from todays Jordanplanet, its my own mom's Birthday today 6/6 and I will call her and congratualte in an hour or so. However I must say you did a great job in describing a situation I think many girls experience. Yet Luluwa, I think even if all of us feel irritation (call it whatever) from our mom's side. we must try not to show it at all. as in not be mean, and criticise, nor try to put her down with words, that might make her sad. A good way to do so, is if you for example wear a dress and ask for your mom's opinion, and she goes, well, Nice, but why is it too short? the injury on your knee is quite visible, wouldn't you rather hide such a mark? It ain't attractive.. Etc. Count till three, and take a deep breath before you reply back.. Cause trust me, once you say mean comments back, you wish to take them back, but then its too late.. I have been such a rebelious child as well. Whatever Mom says, I do the opposite, her advice is none of my concern, etc I used to say.. Luckily I grew up and realised I only have one MOM whome I love deeply! So stupid mind games do not aply to her..
Thanx for sharing and keep it up ;)