I am currently going through a personal revolution while reading a book entitled My Mother/Myself, by Nancy Friday, quite an amazing book that every woman should read and then give to her mother to read also.
Anyway, I found an interesting theory in it, that I also remember reading in The Colour Purple. In the book, My Mother/Myself, she is talking about the Virgin Mary, and she states a theory that heard: "Mary and Joseph did have sexual intercourse. What kept Mary chaste was that she wasn't thinking about it. She was pure of mind and with God. Therefore, it didn't count." In the Colour Purple, Celie has had two children, but she knows little about her own body. Shug's response to Celie's ignorance is: "Why Miss Celie you still a virgin." That is, Celie has never experienced orgasm or physical pleasure, or even emotional pleasure when she has had sex. Sex, to Shug, is synonymous with delicious pleasure, and if Celie is ignorant of that pleasure, then she is still a virgin to the world of sexuality.
The power of this theory, and I guess controversy is that it puts the virginity of a woman-which is of utmost importance in our culture-in the mind of woman, which means SHE controls it, and thus empowers her. It means that even if she is raped, married off against her will, or with a man that she does not love-even worse a man that she does love, she is still a virgin until she enjoys the physical act.
I talked about it with some friends of mine, and well as you might imagine, the men made fun and the women agreed...well some of them at least! I thought I would throw this out there for discussion, see what we come up with.
Short story: a friend of mine once said "virginity's in the soul" to which my brother answered "that's cause the streets don't want you..." Let's not waste time doing the math.
ReplyDeleteI'll disagree with you on that... i think virginty is a physical matter...but it has it's mental echo or repercussion...it's my first time here...but You have a nice blog...keep up the good work
ReplyDeleteI would say this is another weak theory..
ReplyDeleteIn fact, ma3 i7tirami, i would say that it is bullocks. The limits of its possible practical application is so narrow in real life it would make it negligible.
This theory does not empower women at all, it does the opposite, by exaggerating the importance of virginity to such an extent that would call for women to deceive themselves to such an absurd extent about the nature of their virginity. At the end of the day who cares if someone is a virgin or not, it doesn't matter at the end of the day, THAT is what is important and empowering, and not the discarding of biological facts simply for emotional purposes.
Such physical contact is meant to be pleasure and I cannot imagine how would someone have this contact without feeling the pleasure of it.
ReplyDeleteOnzlo,
ReplyDeleteAs is quite clear you have not understood anything...this theory is not disregarding the physical side of virginity...NO ONE IS ARGUING THAT...all this theory is saying is that it is not only that...that it is also for the mind...the power of the mind...it is relocating the PLEASURE side of this act from between the legs to between the ears...the mind...and what a great idea that is...for both men and women!!!!!!
I was a non-virgin before I lost my virginity. The entire concept is meaningless to me now.
ReplyDelete