Two nights ago I had one of the most interesting nights here in Amman, I sat with two female friends of mine for the whole day-watching movies, eating and drinking-and of course TALKING!!!! We talked about everything, from politics, to having soul, and the existence of God. But of course at some point it turned to MEN-especially when i took out the ever so famous book: He's Just Not that Into You.
I was telling them about what my dad told me, its a statement that has truly terrified me. He told me that most if not all the men that I know-Arab men-are not as open minded as I might like to think. He went on to say that Lulwa, you have to realise that even though they all studied abroad, and have gone out with women from different cultures, and have friends from different countries, they still see a woman as their property. They will marry the virgin, they will marry the woman who will most likely sit at home. I didn't believe him, I couldn't believe him!!!! I am a feminist I couldn't imagine that the men who I am friends with are actually exactly like their fathers and forefathers.
So I did an experiment, I started to talk to my male friends, ask them questions without being over obvious. I asked them that if they would allow their sisters to have their boyfriends over like they were allowed to have their girlfriends over? I asked them if they would happily stay home and take care of the kids, if their wives decided to stay at work? So the answer to the first question, was the I got eyebrows raised! So I kind of didn't press the topic.
The second question got the discussion going, la2no they were willing to talk about it. Some said inno they would both work, others-with a little smirk-stated that they wouldn't mind staying home if she made more money. But there were a few who stated: that kids need their mothers more then their fathers, and as such the mother should stay home. The look of horror on my face...yes you can imagine!
So in conclusion-which I am sure very few of you men and maybe even some women will not agree with-the most open-minded of men in the Arab world-and maybe internationally-are still Chauvinist gits...who want to own their woman!
What utter nonsense, this feminist BS about exact duties and responsibilities is really old, get over it and do something more productive in your life.
ReplyDeleteThey dropped it in the west when they realized why throw away millions of years of evolution of nature/God giving unique capabilities for females away just for the sake of some feminist ideals that only existed for merely thirty years. Woman and men are physically and psychologically very different, this difference makes it so that woman are better at raising kids, therefore staying at home instead of doing a 9-5 job.
What a typical Arab "womyn" feminist, there are more important things in life; Go fight malaria, oppression in Palestine, or even campaign to free Tibet. Just do something more useful in your life than pretending to fight for woman rights when all your doing is equalize some over grown sense of inequality you got when you were a kid, probably because you got a Barbie and your brother got a nice car. Wa Wa, I want one too!
yea Lulwa...seriously
ReplyDelete(there are more important things in life; Go fight malaria, oppression in Palestine, or even campaign to free Tibet. Just do something more useful in your life than pretending to fight for woman rights when all your doing is equalize some over grown sense of inequality you got when you were a kid) I AGREE WITH OMAR 100%
ReplyDeleteoh my god you are all stupid...sorry but you are...fighting malaria...oppression in palestine...and so on and so forth...does not exclude woman...its not one or the other...you can fight for woman while takeing larum!!!!
ReplyDeleteI mean i expect a man-ARAB man-to say that...bas Aya come on...do you not live here...do you not see the double standards in our society!??!?
omigod I am so surprised by some of these comments. I mean, how many of the men commenting here are married or been stuck around children for an extended period without the chance to come up for air? Babysit often guys??! I wouldnt marry you with that kind of attitude- I'd be better off with a robot...
ReplyDeleteI taught nursery and primary classes for a year and a half and I am telling you, as a woman who had been going on and on about wanting kids - instant contraception. Sorry guys, raising kids is a tough job and both parents should share it - otherwise women just end up going out of their minds, like some of my friends.
It is just not fair to a)restrict women to raising a family for so-called biological reasons or b)make it difficult for women to have both kids and a career because of a male-oriented working environment.
I am lucky enough to work in the European Parliament where they have an on-site creche, flexible working hours, and a facility to let you take your kids on business trips but even with these advantages most women find it hard to combine the demands of work with the demands of family. Why? Because even in a country where childcare is cheap noone has thought to rethink a system that is entirely un-family-friendly. Its just a shame that women and (enlightened) men are not prepared to fight to change working habits that disadvantage women and stop them fulfilling their potential. True egalitarians would not make women choose between being a mother and contributing to the intellectual and social life of her society.
In any case, that was not the main point behind Lulwa's post - which was that men are unbelievable hyprocrites when it comes to the women in their lives. Practise what you preach - and accept women the way they are, not expect some kind of virginal child-women if thats not something she's chosen of her own accord. Dont presume to know how we want to live our lives because of what you read in some book or hear from your friends.
oh, and found this in today's Guardian...chew on this fellas...tho in this case it seems to be European prejudice getting in the way of progress - not for the first time. I like the stats tho: Nearly 90% want to work full-time after leaving education, balancing employment with having a family.
ReplyDeleteMuslim girls surge ahead at school but held back at work
John Carvel, social affairs editor
Thursday September 7, 2006
The Guardian
Muslim girls are forging ahead at school but hit a brick wall of discrimination when they enter the workplace, the Equal Opportunities Commission says today in a report on its two-year investigation of the experiences of women from ethnic minority communities across Britain.
It found that girls of Pakistani and Bangladeshi origin - 90% of whom are Muslim - have overtaken white boys in performance at GCSE, with a higher proportion achieving five good passes at grade C or above. Despite lower family incomes they are also rapidly catching up with white girls.
Black girls of African-Caribbean origin are not far behind and already outperform boys from their own ethnic group. The EOC said girls at 16 from all the minority communities have higher aspirations than their white contemporaries to progress to skilled jobs requiring degrees or long periods of training. Nearly 90% want to work full-time after leaving education, balancing employment with having a family.
But their ambitions are thwarted when they enter the labour market. They get lower pay and fewer opportunities to reach managerial positions.
One in six young Pakistani women is often asked at job interviews about plans for marriage and children, or the attitude of a husband or partner towards her going to work. One in eight young Bangladeshi and black African-Caribbean women face similar questions about their private lives, compared with one in 17 white women.
An EOC survey of 1,000 employers in areas of above-average black and Asian populations found more than 90% said there was a strong business case for employing black and Asian women. But more than 30% employed none and nearly 60% did not employ enough to reflect the area's ethnic profile.
Jenny Watson, the EOC's chairwoman, said: "The good news is that the next generation of ... black and Asian women have a lot to contribute to their families and to our economy. The bad news is that not enough employers are tapping into this pool of talent ... It's not only employers who miss out. We all do when young women's ambitions are dashed and we fail to build cohesive communities."
two comments ....
ReplyDelete1....anonymous..your blooody boooooring (yawwwnn) ....if you have somthing to say.. SAY IT...instead of f'ing plagerising articles from the guardian!!!
2...to the writer of this post....you are verging on being rather monotonous and thus boring too...try and find somthing more interesting to talk about instead of going over the same old arguments...and i dont think by 'talking' to a handful of your male friends makes good statistics and neither does it validify u painting the whole arab nation of men with the same chauvanistic brush....granted there are a fair few men who are...but to say all arab men are like that is stupid...and maybe you should consider the company that you keep ....i.e. your "chauvanistic" male friends dont exactly say much for a self proclaimed feminist.. alternativly try changing roles from being a feminist ...you may be more effective..like mabe a tree hugger etc .. also may turn out to be productive!
if I'd been plagiarising articles from the guardian I probably wouldnt have cut and paste the whole thing. If you think that something which keeps Britains best broadsheets in print is so damn tedious then I suggest you rethink your own priorities - and get back to your gameboy, apeman
ReplyDeletehoney im sorry for the lack of a better phrase ...maybe i should've said...try adhering to copy right laws on reprinting whole articles!!!
ReplyDelete+thanks to limited space on comment boxes or we would've had the complete guardian reprinted by you...oh and just to reiterate what you said...the guradian is ALREADY in print... so fortunatly they donot require your help.
Also ever heard of using quotations ..i think its more effective and stops one from having to rewrite entire articles!!-i recommend you try it!! alternatively you could use the, now quite old, phenomenon of placing links to web pages...
...such techniques gives the reader the option of reading the article if he/she pleases and more importantly leaves you more space in the comment box to actually write YOUR OWN comments!!...but then as was my earlier point ...maybe you didn't have anything to say in the first place?!
and Oh... as for gameboy playing apeman...try barbie doll playing ape women...more fitting :)
my comments, as you can see, came in the post before the guardian piece I included for your information - though admittedly being called anonymous doesnt help. All in reasonably sized print which I'd have thought was hard to miss...what amazes me is that you have used up so much space insulting me for including an article that was only intended to stimulate debate. Where are YOUR views? YOUR reaction to Lulwa's piece? I only see gratuitous verbal garbage. This is my final word as far as getting personal goes, btw. I suggest we stick to the topic in question.
ReplyDelete