Sheltered in my Mind

I love sitting in my bed at night, just before I fall asleep, and start letting my mind wonder while listening to my music. You are in your pjs...nice and warm under the duvet, and you are waiting for your eyes to close, and thoughts start going through your head. I usually have my ipod on, and am listening to some good music, and you catch a line of a song: I know you can't resist, trying reopen a sore. It makes you think...about how you do that sometimes...bring things up that should just be left to lie...your mind starts to think about what someone had said that day...or how your responded. Then all of a sudden you are smiling because you remember a bad joke your friend had said and that was not funny...but now is absolutely mind-numbingly funny...at this point of course you remember that you have work tomorrow...and you try to shut your eyes...only for another song lyric to jump out at you: And so you see I have come to doubt, All that I once held as true, I stand alone without beliefs. How scarey would that be, to stand alone without beliefs? Your mind starts to wonder again, this time taking you to a movie you had just seen where a guy is saying how great it would be to wake up one morning and find yourself without any responsibilities, without people who love you and that you love, where you can just go anywhere, with anyone, and feel no guilt about the people you left behind...how amazing would that be, yet how lonely...again your eyes start to shut...one more drink, Could you make it strong, 'cause I don’t need to think...one more drink...how nice would that be, that would sure knock me out, no more thinking about things. Wonder what I will be doing at work tomorrow, I hope its not boring, I wonder what the girls I am working with did tonight? What would they think of my night, going out for a drink and playing 20 questions? il3ab il3ab il3aaaaab, blasts through your thoughts, and as your hands try to find your ipod between the sheets to turn it down, your mind realises that your ipod was on shuffle...how great is shuffle, its like your own private radio station, your are guaranteed songs that you love-well I used to love that song!!!! So this is love, So this is what makes life divine, I'm all aglow, Mmmmmm no wonder I am a raging romantic, how could Disney do that to kids? But everyone loves Disney...well yeah of course but from the time we are kids we are listening to lyrics like that, how could we possibly NOT get our hearts broken when we are older, since love is NEVER ever like that aglow feeling!!! Bitter, don't become bitter lulwa, I tell myself, life is great...and the moon is out and the stars are bright and whatever comes s'gonna be alright. The eyes start to shut, I take my ipod off, find my Peter and slowly slip into a peaceful sleep...good night!