I have realised that my parents have really sheltered me from a lot of things, about Arab society. Now that I am in Amman and living without them-and 28-I am starting to realise things that are really upsetting me. One of the main ones is the whole Christian/Muslim thing. Lately, there has been a lot of discussion between friends of mine about the whole oh he/she is cute bas to bad he/she is Christian/Muslim. Or other friends telling me that they want to meet someone bas they have to to be Christian/Muslim...and at the beginning I didn't take it seriously...I don't think in those terms, fa I don't expect other people to...bas I have come to realise that there are people here in Amman, who still think in those terms and I don't like it. Take a story I heard of recently-not a very unique story bas yalla-this Muslim girl and Christian guy have been friends for quite a while, and they slowly start to fancy each other, bas because of the difference in religion, they never do anything...I got very upset when I heard this, and just can't understand why? Its like Romeo and Juliet!!!
Bas seriously, why should this be an issue, mish the important thing is for two people to be in love, to want to spend their time together, willa does it all come down to this divide? I understand that there is a lot of family pressure, and that even if people in our generation did fall for each other, the families would have a cow. But I have a friend who married the man she loved, and he was Christian, and British, bas she did it, and the family is ok with it now...they even love him...and whatnot...fa it can happen...another true story comes from my parents, my mom was disowned by her family for FIVE YEARS, because she married my dad-who is Muslim bas Palestinian (whole other can of worms there) and they finally gave in because I was the first grandchild! Maybe I am too idealistic, bas I really would like to think that if someone is interested in me, or if I am interested in someone, that religion won't stand in our way.
With this I totally agree :), I actually think its the inability of people to take the decisions buy them selves is the problem (another big social problem), if they got over the fear, the family will always come around, not saying its easy but I guess if you want it enough it has to be worth it..
ReplyDeleteI think Nietzche said it best:
ReplyDeleteThe individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
Dear Lulwa,
ReplyDeleteI admire what you say & at times believe that it would be nice to keep things as simple as we can; but sadly a price of growing up has blatantly proven to me- love isn't enough to make a marriage work. I believe that a lot of the principles & characteristics of how we are brought up have an influence on the way we in turn will want to raise our kids. In general, all monolithic religions preach the same virtues, however in societies like ours in Amman or Arab communities aboard, you'll find much difficulty in such marriages. I'm equally sure that cross-cultural marriages, or those of race additionally, on an international basis are difficult.Yours is a case that worked out, stop and consider how many haven't? It's very different when you're befriending someone, like a childhood friend who over a course of a lifetime becomes almost family, but when you are baring children & have the responsibility of someone's life in your hands...
nice post. there are lot of stories with same subject.. and the end depends on the couple not the parents or the family. my best friend now is planning to runway with her romeo :) allah yostor
ReplyDeletebut my point of view is they must think in this when they start the relation in the the begining of the admiration or something.