HMMMMM

Don't know if one is supposed to take this seriously...or just laugh

I am deciding to just laugh!!!!!

"Sho-Hal- Iyyam?"

Arab Group For the protection Of Nature and " Sho-Hal-Iyyam?" Musical Group cordially invite you to attend a singing –musical evening presented by " Sho-Hal- Iyyam?" Group at (Tarasanta ) college stage, on Thursday 28 th December 2006 at 7:00 pm.

Ticket price: 3 JDs.

The funds raised will be allocated for tree-planting projects implemented by Arab Group for the protection Of Nature in Jordan and Palestine .

Seems its true...

I always thought it was a myth when people told me that the older you grow the more conservative you become. Because in my case I didn't see that-if anything am becoming more open-minded. But this Friday I faced something that bought my conservative side out.
I went to Nai-I have never been on Friday-and found to my shock and horror that it was kids night.
OK before going further...I would like to point out that I am 28 so when I say kids I mean no insult just telling you what I thought...no comments please stating how I have insulted the entire youth population of Amman!!!!
So I was looking around and pretty much everyone there was in their late teens early twenties. Some just getting back from their first couple of months at university, others just in their final year at high school. So in other words, a completely different generation me.
There were a few things I noticed,

1. They pretty much ALL smoked and drank-but for me for some reason them smoking seemed worse then them drinking...even though I do BOTH!!! But to be fair I only started smoking when I was 21 (not that makes it any healthier or better.)
2. Also the ratio of men to women was unbelievable, for every male there were at least-AT LEAST-4 women.
3. The kind of clothes that these girls were wearing was well impressive to say the least!!!!showing cleavage, tightness...

So the point of this, wallah not sure, but I was shocked I am quite sure that I was not like that when I came back the first time from uni. I wanted to go rip the ciggies of their mouths, empty out their drinks and yell "GO HOME...read Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys!!!!"

OK I am spicing up the story-it was not that bad, and most importantly they seemed like they were having a great time-which is really the whole point of life. But I was shocked with my reaction, I guess we do become like our parents when we grow up...

The best thing about that night was watching all of them test their new personalities on their old friends. You could see them tweaking it and reworking it, and that was just quite entertaining, and I remember exactly what that was like. Seeing if the "New You" being formed would fit with the friends that you have grown up with and love dearly.

A week to go...

I guess this is the time to start thinking and writing about 2006.
I usually always enjoy my even years-no idea why bas they are always good.

And this year was no exception,

1. I finally finished my PhD and handed it in.
2. I got a really good job at an interesting semi-governmental organisation-shall remain nameless...inno to keep the level of mystery of this blog-
3. I am finally getting along with my parents-am sure me living alone in Amman is helping sustain that relationship.
4. I have a great group of friends not only make me laugh and think but who I know I can rely on and who I hope know that they can rely on me for anything.
5. I am healthy-could do with going to the gym-but that is the resolution section of this post.

As for 2007-which is an odd year and thus won't be as amazing-

• I will be turning 29-one year closer to 30 and as scientific research has proven a women's sexual peak!!!!
• I will be getting my car-finally after waiting for a year
• I will have to defend my PhD-definitely not looking forward to this one!!!!
• Find a man to fall in love with and who will fall in love with me

As for resolutions decided that I shall keep them realistic:

1. Budget
2. Go to Gym

All in all 2006 was a good year, I got to know Amman as a young women, I accomplished quite a bit. Inshallah 2007 will be as good if not better!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

HAPPY EID

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Intelligence of the Arab …

An Arab and an American were seated next to each other on a flight from New York. The American asked the other person if he would like to play a fun-game. The Arab, tired, just wanted to take a nap, so he politely declined and rolled over to the window to catch a few winks. The American persisted and explained that the game was easy and a lot of fun. He said, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa." Again, the Arab declined and tried to get some sleep. The American said "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."

This got the guy's attention and, figuring there would be no end to this torment, agreed to the game. The American asked the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" …

The Arab didn't say a word, reached into his wallet, pulled out a $5 bill, and handed it to the American … "Okay," says the American, "your turn." So the Arab asked, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?" …

The American thought about it. No answer. Puzzled, he took out his laptop computer and searched all his references … No answer! … He tapped into the air-phone with his modem and searched the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer … Frustrated, he sent e-mails to all his friends and coworkers. Checked the input. All to no avail! … Finally, a long time later, he woke up the Arab and handed him $500 … The Arab thanked him and turned back to get his sleep. The American, more than a little miffed, woke up the Arab and asked, "Well, what's the answer?" … Without a word, the Arab reached into his wallet, hands the American $5, and went back to sleep! …

Women of 2006

The Guardian today wrote a list of the Women of 2006. The majority were British but it was great reading about it.

Best of the best

Some remarkable women came to the fore in 2006. Here women's editor Kira Cochrane celebrates their extraordinary achievements and commemorates those we have lost



I wonder if we can create a similar list but of Arab woman. I am going to try and do it will post my results here. But any suggestions would be appreciated!

Kind of Embarressed...

Looking at this article in Aljazeera: Berlin police protect Mozart opera am starting to really get embarrassed and slightly annoyed by how Muslims are being portrayed and are portraying themselves. I mean is it possible that the Muslims of Germany will get upset about a opera written many years ago which includes the severed head of Muhammad-which also includes the severed heads of Jesus, Buddha and Poseidon. It states that the Muslim groups had dismissed any likely hood of something happening, but that the German Police would think that they would be the only ones to react violently, is either-and I can't decide-a form of racism or a true appraisal of Muslim reaction lately!!!!

Dance, Monkeys, Dance

Funny Stuff...

Dance, Monkeys, Dance

FUNNY!!!!

I can't believe!!!!

I was appalled and just wanted to kill the person who wrote this:

تعليقات القراء
شــايب عــجيب
خـدعـوهـا فـقـالـوا ((( فوز امرأة )))
وعندما خدعت أمل القبيسي قالت :إنه شرف كبير أحمله على رأسي طوال العمر وقد صدقت حين قالت طول العمر لأنه عمر عمل بلا حساب ,, ولكن هناك حياة أخرى بعد هذا العمر الذي هي لا تعرف مداه ,, وهناك حساب بلا عمل -- كلماتي رسالة لها ولكل مسلمه تخاف الله وترجي ثوابه
I found it on the Aljazeera Arabic web page, at a comment to the news about the first woman elected in the Emirates. I really am so disgusted by this, how could someone who is educated enough to use the Internet write or think in such a horrific manner!!!!

I am so very upset, we are not moving forward, this region is proving my father right over and over again, that we are the worst group of people to ever exist. I always used to get angry when my father said this stuff...but maybe he is right!!!!

Check out the article there are even more comments to make us proud of being Arab women and men!!!!
فوز امرأة في أول انتخابات تشريعية بالإمارات

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!!

It's not itsy-bitsy, it's not teeny-weeny - it's the burkini

Say hello to the burkini - a swimming costume designed for Muslim women. Costing £65, it is a semi-fitting two-piece swimsuit that connects to an "ahiida hijood" and it will be worn by Muslim Australian lifesavers from January.
Sydney designer Aheda Zanetti came up with the design after Surf Life Saving Australia began a drive to recruit more Islamic lifeguards, particularly women, following riots last year between Lebanese Muslim teenagers and white Australians on Sydney's Cronulla beach. The style is not exactly Baywatch - that's the whole point of it - but no one will be able to miss the women running up and down Bondi Beach in these yellow and red outfits.

However, the burkini is by no means the first Muslim swimming cossie. In 2000, the "sharia swimsuit" was all the rage in Cairo, with Egyptian women flocking to buy the high-necked costume with sleeves and a small skirt, which was worn over long trousers. Then came the "swimming hijab", also known as the "legal swimsuit" and again championed in Egypt, which was "manufactured from industrial fibres which prevent it from sticking to the skin when wet". Last year saw the launch of a Turkish swimwear collection called Hasema, consisting of a neck-to-ankle body-suit with hood. More than 40,000 units were sold. Hayrunnisa Gul, the wife of the foreign minister, was among the buyers.

So will the burkini take Australia by storm? Zanetti, 38, said it had taken her a year to persuade Muslim women in Sydney that swimming "is not a sin" and sales had soared. Her company, Ahiida sportswear, has had great feedback, which she has posted on her website: "Sister, you have a fantastic product ... I can't come up with any downsides to the swimsuits," said Arzo.

Heba was equally delighted: "I was finally able to go to my aquarobics class, and I love the swimsuit! It's so lightweight, dries so quickly and it looks great. I received compliments from non-Muslims. I don't look like a fool in the water any more, and I'm not weighed down by all the heavy wet clothes I used to wear."

"In the water, I look like a real swimmer wearing a full body suit or scuba suit - but modest," added Diana.

These ladies have a point: wearing a burkini means saying goodbye to silly swimming caps and cellulite problems. Who knows - Islamic swimwear could catch on in swimming pools from Barnsley to Brighton.

SO UNFAIR

I am hungover...and the only chocolate in the office is SNICKERS....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...I hate SNIKCERS!!!!!!

Never Again

Today I have experencied what my friends used to complain about. Going to work-8am-while one is still drunk.

I remember when I was unemployed and waking up at around 10ish and talking to friends who were already at work, and them telling me that they arrived at work with not a hangover but still drunk. And I never understood that...but today I finally did!

I was FORCED awake by my ride who had been waiting for me outside for 15 minutes already-I put my ipod as my alarm yet forgot to put the speakers on!!! Arrived at work, without taking a shower, still smelling of the last drink I had at Nai-vodka/orange juice-and having to write a report!!!! Not only that, bas I also am just starting to go into hangover mode...the headaches, craving for greasy food...wanting just to put my head on a pillow and not to talk/look/listen to anyone!!!

I am NEVER EVER EVER doing this again...drinking yeah ok I won't be giving that up any time soon-enjoy it to much-but not on a week day...khalas...I am unable to sleep till 10/11/12/ and so I have to stop!

The really annoying thing, is that I had decided not to go to Nai, yet I ended up going...why OH WHY...do I not listen to the voice within????

Catch-22

I have read, and am rereading Catch-22, by Joseph Heller. Anyway there is a line that I am trying to understand...will be walking around with a little paper with it written on it till i get it or am explained it..fa lets see if the blogging world can help:

Anything can be done to you that you can not prevent.

Good Luck

Like I needed a reason...

Chocolate addiction lead to sweet discovery

(Reuters) - They were so addicted, they just could not give up their favorite daily snack -- not even in the interest of science.
But chocolate lovers who flunked out of a Johns Hopkins University study on aspirin and heart disease helped researchers stumble on an explanation of why a little chocolate a day can cut the risk of heart attack.
It turns out chocolate, like aspirin, affects the platelets that cause blood to clot, Diane Becker of the Johns Hopkins University's School of Medicine and her colleagues discovered. "What these chocolate offenders taught us is that the chemical in cocoa beans has a biochemical effect similar to aspirin in reducing platelet clumping, which can be fatal if a clot forms and blocks a blood vessel, causing a heart attack," Becker said in a telephone interview.
The 139 so-called chocolate offenders took part in a larger study of 1,200 people with a family history of heart disease. The study looked at the effects of aspirin on blood platelets.
Before they got the aspirin, the volunteers were asked to stay on a strict regimen of exercise, refrain from smoking and avoid caffeinated drinks, wine, grapefruit juice and chocolate.
Chocolate and the other foods are known to affect platelets. "We knew they would offend," Becker said. "Some people said to us, 'I can do anything but I can't stay off my chocolate.'"
"If people said, 'I will try my very best,' we said, 'OK do your very best, but it is crucial that you don't eat chocolate for 24 to 48 hours before you come in for testing.'" Yet some people failed even this test of self-control.

GOING ALL THE WAY

"Nobody ate like a chocolate chip. If they were going to eat it, they ate some chocolate," Becker said. "It went all the way from a chocolate chip cookie to someone who ate a gallon of chocolate ice cream with chocolate chunks and two chocolate-chip cookies at one sitting." Becker cut them out of the aspirin study, but looked at their blood anyway. Researchers ran platelet samples from both groups through a mechanical blood vessel system designed to time how long it takes for the platelets to clump together in a hair-thin plastic tube. The blood of the chocolate eaters was slower to clot than the blood of the volunteers who resisted chocolate, Becker told a meeting of heart experts in Chicago.
In a urine test, the chocolate lovers had lower levels of a platelet waste product called thromboxane. "Does it help a little bit? Yes," Becker said. "But it does not have anywhere near the magnitude of the effects of a single baby aspirin a day."
Nonetheless, Becker's team wants to study the effects of eating chocolate on a "free-living" population of volunteers. They will measure how much chocolate people eat and then watch them for several years to see if chocolate-eaters have a different rate of heart attacks, stroke and heart operations. Other studies have suggested that dark chocolate contains more of the beneficial compounds linked with heart health, and experts note that the high sugar and fat content of most chocolate candy might cancel out some of the benefits.

Last Night

Last night we had to take care of a friend of a friend and she wasn't there. First we had to wait for ages for this dude to find the place where we were-Dubliners...when he finally did show up, the place had called final orders and we had ordered him a beer inno its the safest bet for what people drink. Anyhow what was strange was how awkward the conversation was. I guess i am not used to meeting new people anymore, inno I spend so much time with people that I know so well that we don't' have the usual superficial talk...where you from? Where did you study? What did you study? Do you like Amman? BLAH BLAH YADA YADA...then I asked the feux pas question, why you in Amman for the holidays?!?!?!? Haram, inno I made it sound like it was the worst decision he had ever made. The dude is an Arab bas has lived most of his life in London...then of course comes the question, so where does one go out in Amman? What do you tell someone who lives in London? He was nice enough to take the pressure off a bit by saying that he is not here to party or stuff like that, inno he can do that in London...so the pressure cooker was opened and we breathed a bit easier!!

Then of course being all people who have just celebrated our one year anniversary in this great city, and us planning to leave for New Years, we started to talk about Amman, don't worry we were good ambassadors for this city, bas inno ya3ni...guess we could have been better, since one of the places we listed for him to go to is HangOver!!!!!!

Bas really the strange thing, I think for him and us, was that the person of contact was not there, fa the buffer was off, and we had to chit chat about stuff that just were not very comfortable...really felt bad for him...my feelings were further compiled when he told us that he had to dive all the way back to ZARQA that very night...inno NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Bas we helped a friend out, and I guess that is what matters...bas it was really awkward...yet kind of fun in the fact that it was awkward...lol!!!!

AlJazeera

Today is the launch of Aljazeera English...I am at work but am keeping my eyes on the web page, aljazeera.net/english, for at 12 GMT the website will also be launched and one can watch the broadcast. I am so excited...it is a historical event-and we have quite a few in our lifetimes-bas finally a venue for Arabs to broadcast how they view the world and hopefully this will help to bridge the gap between us and the West!!!! I mean i remember when the Arab channel was launched and watching the first news broadcast...to say that I also saw the English one would be quite cool...inno to my kids.

Anyway, do check out the new channel, we get it on NileSat and ArabSat.

BRILLIANT!!!

A Spanish town council has vowed to banish sexism from street signage by demanding half of all road signs and traffic lights show female figures with skirts and ponytails.
Fuenlabrada, which lies south of the capital Madrid, will replace old and damaged road signs and traffic lights with new stock within a year. "In this way the sexism which until now has seen only masculine figures appear in traffic signals will be brought to an end," the town council said in a statement.

The council, which said it would ask manufacturers to incorporate female figures in their signs, would not cost taxpayers a penny.

The Anniversary

We need to take the time today to stop and think and reflect. A year ago a tragedy occurred in Amman, and we not only lost lives but our sense of security was shaken. As I look around our region on this sad day, I see how we are not only on the brink of chaos, but that we are not doing anything about it.

1. Palestine-the massacre that happened there.


2. Iraq-the daily massacres there.


3. Lebanon-the out of proportion aggression that it suffered through last month.


4. Syria-the threat of a war its facing.

We need to do something, Qatar is asking for the Security Council to approve a resolution not only for a cease fire but also for an investigation into what happened in Beit Hanoun...we need more such action.

I send my condolences to anyone who lost a family or friend in the bombings last year. I also send my condolences to us as a region as a people. When will we realise that our lives are valuable, that our blood is worth more then just to be spilt on the ground of our land.

We need to wake up, we need to start thinking about what where we want our lives to go, where we want our children to grow up. I for one don't want to have children who will be ashamed of being an Arab, or who will be living in a place where death is a daily occurrence, and where their sense of safety is always in jeopardy.

My Condolences to our nation, to our region.

First Day

Since July 1, 381 Palestinians have died versus five Israelis.

Today is the first day of mourning for Beit Hanoun.

My blog is going into mourning also, I can't believe that things are going on in the Arab world-to my people-and I am just sitting down doing nothing!!!!!!

Am disgusted with myself, the people around me and our governments!

At a meeting today...

I had to take the minutes of my first meeting today-never done that before-anyway not the point...it was a meeting between a Jordanian and Turkish delegation, to discuss something...again not the point-promise it's coming up! I looked around at the Jordanian side, to find only me sitting between a group of elderly men...then I glanced at the Turkish side and found 4 women, the question started to form in my mind, why is it that this country has four women on their delegation, all with presentations and proposals to make, yet on the Jordanian side I was the only one, and I was there pretty much to take notes-still too new to be of much help!
I then came online and found an article in the Guardian, No room at the top - fewer women reaching boards of Britain's top firms, where it is discussing how the number of women as head of boards has come down since last year, "The number of directorships held by women fell in 2006 after rising steadily in previous years. Now 23 companies in the blue chip index - one more than last year - have entirely male boards." It goes on to discuss the implication for this situation on women and also on how companies are going to grow, they also said that the UK has refrained from making a quota for women on boards.
I have never been able to decide on where I stand when it comes to quotes, be it in parliaments or in this case board rooms, sometimes I am for them, for we need to force society to start seeing women in these roles, and then we can take the quota away. Yet in the case of Jordan it proves that just because you have women in parliament does not mean that they will be voting or acting for the benefit of the women of their society, we saw how they voted in the last parliament against laws that would have made the legal and social life of Jordanian women a lot better.
I think the main thing, is that it is not so much about quotas only it is also about educated the women and men who will fill them-for in some cases their are quotes that include men (racial and religious minorities.) These people that we vote for, or who are assigned to represent us, should be shown and explained to that when they are in such a position it is not only to fill a seat, or show that the country is equal, but it is to actually work so that at some point we no longer need quotes we just vote for people because they are good.
Looking through the Guardian, I found a opinion talking about Palestine and what is happening now, and it had a really amazing quote, that showed how effective women are when they decide to do something about their lives. In A brutal taste of the future, Sami Abdel-Shafi, stated that, "On Friday morning, scores of women marched through Beit Hanoun in a spontaneous rush to aid friends and loved ones after hearing their pleas. Unarmed, they were shot at by Israeli soldiers from their tanks; two women were left dead and others severely injured. These women were said to have been heading to a mosque to free armed men who took refuge there. Television footage and interviews with witnesses show these women posed no military threat, but they were treated as such by the Israeli army without warning." Again Palestinians and more importantly Palestinian woman show us the way to go...how we have to just go out there and break through all the boundaries, and obstacles put in front of us.
So again, I was disappointed in our delegation today, I really had expected there to be more women, we make up more then half this society, and it is about time that we start pushing through all the glass ceiling and whatnot and make a place for ourselves.

A Working Woman

Now that I go to work everyday so early in the morning...and still not having a car fa am in cab, I have found a new way to entertain myself. Watching people on their way to work! You see the most interesting things, people really think that the car is an extension of their homes, no realising that we can all see what they are doing-to be fair I do that also-fa you see people flossing (I SWEAR HE WAS), the picking their nose for sure...bas also what I noticed is that no one is smiling. Today i actually saw someone with his face between his hands, like his world was coming apart while we waiting for the Rabia traffic lights. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that people are listening to the news on teh radio...wallah I hve no idea...bas it is my new form of entertainment...watching people being miserable on their way to work...lol...

How things change...

Life in Amman has truely changed for me, I have gone from being a PhD student, who is unemployed to having handed in my PhD and am currently writing this on my office computer. This Eid was the best, it really is the beginning of the new year for me. I went to Beirut, to see my parents, and with the rest of Amman to celebrate. Friends came from here, and we celebrated in style. We went to all the hang out, got drunk and my friends opened a bottle of Champagne for me to celebrate having handed in and them no longer having to deal with me bitching and moaning about it!!!!!!
I got my Phd bound and I sent it to my friend in Edinburgh who officially sent me a text a week ago informing me that she has submitted it for me. I received a phone call from my new job at King Abdullah Design and Development Bureau (KADDB)and got a job as Research Executive. I have also recieved an email from UNIFEM asking me to come in for a second interview. I was on quite bad terms with some friends of mine prior to Eid, and now we are all hunky-dory. wallah I have no idea why the first post that I write after such a long time is so short, or so uninteresting for all of you out there. We as a generation yesterday lived another big event in the history of not only this region but the world-the sentencing of Saddam-and yet all I can think about is that life is going well. Well that my life is going well-obviously life is not going to well for Saddam-how selfish we humans are, when things are going well for us the world is a oyster that we are just opening, and when it is going badly its an oyster that we opened to find a sand grain not a pearl.

Inshallah I will be sorting out the car situation soon, I shall become and independent woman, who only takes rides because she wants to mish inno she can't get around without calling cabs or asking favours of friends.

Wallah it is true that life can change in a blink of an eye.

Obsession

I have always been the sort of person who goes from one obsession to another. I go through an Oreo obsession when all I want is to eat Oreos-break it half lick the white stuff and then eat the cookies, dunk em in milk-I go through a Kit Kat obsession where I just nibble away on the sides till I've eaten it all. I go through song obsessions where I listen to a playlist or ONE song till I have it engraved in my mind. I also go through people obsessions where all I do is think about a person. But I always move on at some point, just to find another obsession-as in another person to obsess about! So while wasting my time through my latest obsession-YouTube-I found the best Video to show exactly what it means to be obsessed! I love the sounds, and the woman in this animation. I hope you all get what I mean when you see it!

Inspiring Story! Free Hugs Campaign

my forecast for today

You could easily be pulled back and forth between reality and your imagination, not always knowing which is which!

Last minute

I have been at it for FOUR YEARS...reading, writing, talking, researching...and only now when I have given myself the FINAL deadline am I actually getting work done. I have always been the sort who leaves things to the last minute-in pretty much all aspects of my life-but I had thought that my PhD would not be like that. I mean you have to write a minimum of 80,000 words you can't leave that to just a week before you submit. But against all odds and against all logic I have done that.
Well not exactly that...but the other day I finally put all the chapters-6 in total-in one document and found to my SHOCK AND HORROR that I was 30,000 words below limit. The thing is that I had been writing the chapters separately and had thought I was writing to much, fa I was selecting HUGE sections and DELETING-yeah I seem to have forgotten that Word has the option of cut and paste!!!!!!! Anyho I sat and looked at the word counter stating that I 50,000 words, and the inspiration hit-I clicked include footnotes and endnotes-and I was up to 60,000 words...the joy was so overwhelming I had to go and get myself a glass of water! I just need 20,000 words now! HOW does one write that in just a week?????? IFFFFTTTT!

Paranoid

There is level of paranoia that is prevalent in our culture. I listen to people talk/whisper sometimes and I just have to giggle to myself.

The Courtyard

Last night a group of friend and I went to the Courtyard tent. It was my first night out of the house in Ramadan, and it was exactly like I had hoped it would be. We arrived to find the courtyard had been transformed into quite a nice place. The white tent over our heads, with the beautiful chandeliers, the fountain, the pillows and couches that were all in colours of red, purple and maroon. The gifts of masabeh, and friends of mine who had not bought jackets getting the traditional 3abay, it all felt very orientalist yet very Arab at the same time.
I loved it, we played cards, while listening to Oum Kalthoum and Abdel Halim. It really made me feel like those old Egyptian movies, where you see them sitting around chatting, drinking tea and just chilling. We tried the different Ramadan sweets and drinks-my favourite being Jalab-love Rose water. It was fun experimenting, since most of us didn't know the different sweets and drinks, so people would order and others would taste...we talked about everything and anything.
The perfect night out!

The First Weekenders Group

If we move fast, we can curb the film world's male bias

Going to movies directed by women as soon as they are released is a pragmatic and enjoyable form of feminist activism

Natasha Walter
Tuesday September 26, 2006

This is the sort of activism that we should be participating in...and this is the sort of stuff that I miss the most about living in the UK. Makes me want to go back. :(

The Month has started!

The countdown to Eid has started for me...but more importantly this Ramadan is that I have decided to give up drinking for the whole of the month. I am not doing it so much out of respect for my fellow fasters...but more because it is detox and I want to see if I have the ability to do that. Don't get me wrong I am not an alcoholic, but I enjoy my glass of wine/gin and tonic/Mexican beer...also I guess it is a bit out of respect. I have Christian friends who don't drink during Ramadan, so you would think that a born Muslim would at least attempt it!
I heard the strangest comment last night, a group of people were sitting having a drink and talking about what they are going to do this Ramadan, and one of them stated-loudly or how else would I have heard it-that he plans to have a drink just before Iftar today, and if anyone wants to join him. Now how rude and unneeded is that?!?!? Especially to say it out load, in a public place. No wonder people get violent sometimes, I mean even me who doesn't believe in any of this wanted to get up and slap him a few times. I have no problem with people drinking, but there is NO need to make it such an obvious statement, sit at home, text/call your friends, and invite them over for a pre-iftar drink!
Anyway so that we don't end this post on a negative note,
I wish all those who are fasting a Ramadan Mubarak.
All those who are forced to fast a Ramadan Mubarak.
and all those who are not fasting a Ramadan Mubarak.
Enjoy the tents, and enjoy the Mint Tea!

Taybeh Festival: village fete meets 'Oktoberfest'

Villagers enjoy the beer and the festival atmosphere

A unique event took place in the occupied Palestinian territories at the weekend. The village of Taybeh, north of the West Bank city of Ramallah, held their second ever beer festival.

Modelled on Munich's 'Oktoberfest', this Christian village welcomed over 1,000 international and Palestinian visitors to enjoy their packed programme of traditional, and not-so-traditional, musical and theatrical events, and to support their local produce, including their renowned Taybeh beer.

Rest of article

Maan News Agency
Date: 19 / 09 / 2006

Leap of Faith

As I stated earlier, I am revisiting old episodes of Lost. In the third episode of Series two, there is a discussion between Jack and Locke over what is easier to believe or not to believe? I for one always thought/felt that people who believed in things such as fate, destiny, serendipity, or religion seemed to be taking the easier option. Its nice to believe that things are mapped out, that there is someone who is taking care of us who is on the look out for us. It seemed to me that they were taking the responsibility of their actions and placing it in some other 'beings' hands. But then again maybe people who don't believe-such as myself-are also taking the easy option. We have decided that everything needs to be questioned, that everything needs to be challenged, which in my opinion is a good thing-but what if in some cases it is OK just to accept things? To let issues, dramas, people, situations just go! To believe that situations we find yourself in are part of a bigger plan, a plan to get us to where we are 'supposed to be'. That place might be good, bad or just neutral but it is a place. I know that I have thought it a number of times, if I had not failed my first year at university, I would have met the people that I ended up meeting, I would not have had the experiences I had. For sure the logic is I would have had others, and maybe they would have been better, but it shows you how things sometimes happen for with or without reason. I guess it how we read these 'reasons', 'signs' whatever you wanna call them, is how we become who we are.

In the case of Lost is is all about the button should they press it or not, should we believe that if we don't press it the world would end, so should we not press it just to prove that the world won't end? I didn't like that fact that they pressed the button-made them a slave of it in the end, I felt that Jack should have stood his ground. But at the same time I understood why HE had to press it, what if the world did end? Would someone want to have that on their score card? I guess also for a Man of Science like him-in my case a woman of science-its with a feeling of relief that we press the button...the we take the leap of faith, guess my question is why not sometimes just believe in something?

Time...

I was watching old episodes of Lost last night and realised that I had always wanted to create a time capsule. So I started to think what I would put in one????
I came up with at least 10 things here they are:

1. My Ipod with all my songs, as well as the top 10 from the BBC Radio 1 web page of the day I put it in the capsule.
2. A homemade video of a day of my life...including seeing my friends, talking with my parents.
3. A DVD with the first and last episode of my favourite shows: Sex and the City, Lost, Alias, OC, and Bold and Beautiful!
   
4. A hard copy of The Guardian and Al-Quds Al-Arabi, and Al-Ghad, and of course Heat and Glamour magazines.
   
5. A copy of my-completed-PhD!!!!
6. A few stands of my hair-in case that when they find the capsule making clones is legal and I will be reborn!!!
7. One Jordanian Dinar.
8. A spoon, fork, knife and chopsticks-in case they don't use them anymore!
   
9. The recipe for Mjadara, Ma2loubeh, and Knafeh.
10. A letter.

Any other suggestions?

The pope

I found this article by my favorite Karen Armstrong on the Guardian. Please do read it.
We cannot afford to maintain these ancient prejudices against Islam

The Pope's remarks were dangerous, and will convince many more Muslims that the west is incurably Islamophobic

Karen Armstrong
Monday September 18, 2006
The Guardian

9/11

I was printing out my masters dissertation, in London. When I got a phone call from a friend of mine, telling me "New York is on fire". I laughed and went on with my printing.
Then I saw people running into the common room of my dorm, and went down just in time to see the second plane go into the World Trade Centre. For the rest of the day all I could do was sit in front of the TV and watch as it all unraveled. Watching people jumping out, and the buildings fall. It really did look like a movie, of course I don't believe these things until I called my parents to see if AlJazeera has also confirmed it. So I call my dad, and get the green light.
At the point I realise that one of my good friends-who's family lives in New York-I had not see all day, so I call him, and he is in such shock that I run over to the pub where he has been drinking, watching, and trying to call home since it all started to happen. I just sit there, no knowing what to say, how to consul him...what does one say?
How did that day effect the world? In so many ways, and we all know them. How did it effect me? (yes very self-centred) Well I was on my way to DC...I had an internship with an NGO there, and I was so excited. I had worked on my parents all throughout my Masters to convince them that I needed a year off to decide if I wanted to do a PhD. I of course realised that this was not going to happen anymore. I then had to go to Saudi for two months-and was so bored and frustrated that I applied for a PhD. Which has been the pain in my backside since 2002!
But the good thing is I got to go to Tanzania...and oh my god how self-centred is this post...bas 3adi...let other people get into the political ramifications of it...I mean we all know about it...we have all seen what has happened to the world since those plans crashed into WTC!
Lets just hope that it won't get any worse.

An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind. ~Mahatma Gandhi

Happiness

Happiness is truly a strange feeling. I had a very strange conversation with my mom last night, where she was kept asking me if I am happy. I kept telling her inno yes mama, for the first time in my life I truly happy. I am healthy, my friends and family are around me, I love Amman-to a certain extent-my PhD is in it's final stages, and I will either find a job here, or go somewhere else-preferable Cairo or New York. The strange thing about the conversation is that she didn't realise that, I reminded her how many times I used to call her from Edinburgh and cry because I was so unhappy, and that here I had not done that. But really do any of us go around saying that we are happy? I sure don't, I know that I am make it unbelievably obvious when I am miserable-to everyone around me-but when I am happy I just get on with life. Isn't that the point of happiness, that you just move along in your life and not have to constantly be thinking about it, reanalysing it, worrying about it? You are just happy. No? As Milan Kundera says: Happiness is the longing for repetition.

Butterflies-GREAT SONG!!!!

This song is by Karl Wolf, Canadian, and it is quite poppy...bas puts me in teh best of moods!

Parents...

My parents are here...living with me in our house...not sure when they will head back to Beirut. Not the point..the point is that I realise that they really do need me around. Not only are they getting older...bas I also think that they are realising that bringing up their daughter to be a bit too independent is not quite as good idea as they thought. I mean don't get me wrong, my parents are VERY open-minded people, they have given my freedom because they trust me. The issue has come up now, because one of my friends has asked me to stay with her while her parents are away, because she is scared of being home alone at night. So my parents call me yesterday, and ask if I am doing something that I don't want them to know about!!!!! I was in such shock...inno what could I be doing that would be so bad that I couldn't do from home???? Selling drugs, cleaning people's houses, prostitution!!!!! I seriously could not believe it.
But I think know what it is all about, its that they miss me, that they want me around, but to come up with this scenario...I mean come on. They could just say Lulwa we miss you...I would get that...bas all this drama-which friends of mine seem to think runs in the family (I know they are really funny)-their was no reason for it.
Or...lets think like them, maybe they felt inno this was the only way to get to me. To make me understand, and that is the truly sad thought. Why should my parents have to go to such extremes to make me feel with them? Ask any of my friends, I am the sort who over talks, over deals, so it should be quite easy for my own parents to come up to me and talk to me. But maybe its like what a friend once told me, inno people like me who talk so much end up being unable to listen to anyone.

Woman talk

Two nights ago I had one of the most interesting nights here in Amman, I sat with two female friends of mine for the whole day-watching movies, eating and drinking-and of course TALKING!!!! We talked about everything, from politics, to having soul, and the existence of God. But of course at some point it turned to MEN-especially when i took out the ever so famous book: He's Just Not that Into You.
I was telling them about what my dad told me, its a statement that has truly terrified me. He told me that most if not all the men that I know-Arab men-are not as open minded as I might like to think. He went on to say that Lulwa, you have to realise that even though they all studied abroad, and have gone out with women from different cultures, and have friends from different countries, they still see a woman as their property. They will marry the virgin, they will marry the woman who will most likely sit at home. I didn't believe him, I couldn't believe him!!!! I am a feminist I couldn't imagine that the men who I am friends with are actually exactly like their fathers and forefathers.
So I did an experiment, I started to talk to my male friends, ask them questions without being over obvious. I asked them that if they would allow their sisters to have their boyfriends over like they were allowed to have their girlfriends over? I asked them if they would happily stay home and take care of the kids, if their wives decided to stay at work? So the answer to the first question, was the I got eyebrows raised! So I kind of didn't press the topic.
The second question got the discussion going, la2no they were willing to talk about it. Some said inno they would both work, others-with a little smirk-stated that they wouldn't mind staying home if she made more money. But there were a few who stated: that kids need their mothers more then their fathers, and as such the mother should stay home. The look of horror on my face...yes you can imagine!
So in conclusion-which I am sure very few of you men and maybe even some women will not agree with-the most open-minded of men in the Arab world-and maybe internationally-are still Chauvinist gits...who want to own their woman!

It's Been Emotional.

My friend last night told me to be selfish...I kind of didn't get it...any pointers...he didn't mean it about money or something like that...I think he meant-well not quite sure...fa lets see if any of you can give me a hint!

To Listen or not to Listen

It is sad when one has to say bye to a stage of ones life. Going to university, leaving university, starting a job, leaving a job...so on so forth...you get my drift. Bas I think one of the saddest things is losing a friend, well not so much losing bas more deciding that you can no longer be friends with each other.
I would like to make a note here, this is NOT a personal entry, I am not talking about any friend in particular in MY life, I am just considering something.
So back to the point I was making, is that there are friends you have that at some point you realise-no this not working. I had friends of mine from high school who after the first three months at university I was no longer able to communicate with them, or them with me. We just had grown apart. Natural...and as thus not so upsetting. But I think when it is quite upsetting is when you just don't know why...bas you no longer like someone. You still love them-as a friend or as a lover-bas you just don't LIKE them. I used to hear that all the time in movies and what not and never really understood it. But it makes sense...it really does. You can love someone and love em deeply..bas just not like em very much. They are either to loud, or to quite, to open or emotionally constipated. Whatever the reason, you just don't want them part of your life anymore, and I think that is one of the saddest changes that happens in ones life. But also one of the healthest!

The Crocodile Hunter

Stephen Robert "Steve" Irwin
(22 February 1962 – 4 September 2006)
-Was an Australian environmentalist and television personality. He was best known for the television program The Crocodile Hunter, an unconventional wildlife documentary series which he hosted with his wife Terri Irwin. Irwin's personality and outrageous antics in the series made him an international celebrity. He also owned and operated the Australia Zoo at Beerwah in Queensland.

Death

In the early afternoon of 4 September 2006, Irwin was fatally stung in the chest by a stingray barb off the Great Barrier Reef in Australia while filming an underwater documentary.

Shortly after 11:00 a.m. local time, Irwin was filming in the Low Isles near Port Douglas, north of Cairns, Queensland, Australia, where he was stung either through his heartor through the left side of his chest and suffered cardiac arrest. After he was stung, his crew called for medical help and the Queensland Rescue Helicopter responded, taking him to Cairns Base Hospital. However, Irwin was immediately pronounced dead at the scene. The Queensland Police Service notified his family and released a statement for the media concerning the event.

Pictures

My parents have moved back to Amman...having to be forced out of Beirut...anyway I had put pictures of my friends on the fridge-am that sort of person-when the house was all mine...bas since they are back I decided to bring the pictures down...so I put some up on my mirror in my bathroom. Thought it was cute...and my mirror is huge fa doesn't really get in the way.
BUT....
I realised inno it is kind of strange...to be brushing my teeth, combing my hair, getting out of the shower and having my friends there WATCHING! I am sure we have all heard the myth that when camera's first came out-and in some cultures around the world-they believe that when you take a picture of someone you take a part of their soul...also in Harry Potter books the pictures move...fa the other day as I was coming out of the shower and wrapping myself in a towel I looked up and saw them all-looking at me...and it kind of freaked me out. What if their eyes looking out at me could transfer to the real person what they were seeing???? What if all them had just seen me NAKED! I was creaped out...and I still am...bas somehow I didn't take the pictures down...lol...think that this all part of my exhibitionist side of my personality...but think about it would it not be freaky to think that all the pictures of me out there in the world-stuck on my friends fridges...put in frames...could bring me the images of my friends. While they sat in their living rooms watching tv, cooking lunch...coming out of SHOWERS...it would be fun...like being a fly in their houses...aw even better like being an invisible woman able to travel around the world just by having my picture taken and stuck on someone's fridge, bathroom mirror.

Ironic

We all know the song...isn't it IRONIC...well today I found something that could go brilliantly on the list...having an abundance of ciggies and no form of lightage for them!!!! I am frustrated with the fact that my parents smoke...yet I can't find a lighter/match/oven igniter...ANYTHING...to light my BLOODY FAGS!!!
As the magnet on my fridge states:
Give the Bitchy Nicotine Queen her damn Cigarettes!

Just had to Post this...

As usual I am doing my usual reading of newpapers online...Guardian, AlQuds, and then Haaretz-for good measure-and I come across this article...Bleeding-heart ignoramuses
By Julie Burchill Not sure what I think of it...well I do know what I think of it...typical Israeli tripe...bas thought it would be interesting for people to read what this author said...the quote that most stands out: "That Israel is fighting the frontline war, on behalf of the freedom and civilization of all of us, against the very real evils of shari'a law never seems to occur to these bleeding-heart ignoramuses." She then goes on to say: "The conflict has sent this tendency into overdrive, with not just the usual Masochist Hacks For Mohammed such as Robert Fisk (beaten up by Islamists, says they were right to do it) and Yvonne Ridley (kidnapped by Islamists, then became one) getting their chadors in a twist about big swarthy men with tea-towels on their heads treating the West mean and keeping it - in their case at least - keen."

I don't know if one should laugh or cry when this read this. ENJOY!!!!!

V-day

I come from the "down there" generation. That is, those were the words-spoken rarely and in a hushed voice-that the women in my family used to refer to all female genitalia, internal or external.

It wasn't that they were ignorant of terms like vagina, labia, vulva, or clitoris. On the contrary, they were trained to be teachers and probably had more access to information than most.

It wasn't even that they were unliberated, or "straitlaced," as they would have put it. One grandmother earned money from her strict Protestant church by ghostwriting sermons-of which she didn't believe a word-and then earned more by betting it on horse races. The other was a suffragist, educator, and even an early political candidate, all to the alarm of many in her Jewish community. As for my own mother, she had been a pioneer newspaper reporter years before I was born, and continued to take pride in bringing up her two daughters in a more enlightened way than she had been raised. I don't remember her using any of the slang words that made the female body seem dirty or shameful, and I'm grateful for that. As you'll see in these pages, many daughters grew up with a greater burden.

Nonetheless, I didn't hear words that were accurate, much less prideful. For example, I never once heard the word clitoris. It would be years before I learned that females possessed the only organ in the human body with no function other than to feel pleasure. (If such an organ were unique to the male body, can you imagine how much we would hear about it-and what it would be used to justify?) Thus, whether I was learning to talk, to spell, or to take care of my own body; I was told the name of each of its amazing parts except in one unmentionable area. This left me unprotected against the shaming words and dirty jokes of the school yard and, later, against the popular belief that men, whether as lovers or physicians, knew more about women's bodies than women did.

I first glimpsed the spirit of self-knowledge and freedom that you will find in these pages when I lived in India for a couple of years after college. In Hindu temples and shrines I saw the lingam, an abstract male genital symbol, but I also saw the yoni, a female genital symbol, for the first time: a flowerlike shape, triangle, or double-pointed oval. I was told that thousands of years ago, this symbol had been worshiped as more powerful than its male counterpart, a belief that carried over into Tantrism, whose central tenet is man's inability to reach spiritual fulfillment except through sexual and emotional union with woman's superior spiritual energy. It was a belief so deep and wide that even some of the woman-excluding, monotheistic religions that came later retained it in their traditions, although such beliefs were (and still are) marginalized or denied as heresies by mainstream religious leaders.

For example: Gnostic Christians worshiped Sophia as the female Holy Spirit and considered Mary Magdalene the wisest of Christ's disciples; Tantric Buddhism still teaches that Buddhahood resides in the vulva; the Sufi mystics of Islam believe that fana, or rapture, can be reached only through Fravahi, the female spirit; the Shekina of Jewish mysticism is a version of Shakti, the female soul of God; and even the Catholic church included forms of Mary worship that focused more on the Mother than on the Son. In many countries of Asia, Africa, and other parts of the world where gods are still depicted in female as well as in male forms, altars feature the Jewel in the Lotus and other representations of the Lingam-in-the-yoni. In India, the Hindu goddesses Durga and Kali are embodiments of the yoni powers of birth and death, creation and destruction.
* * * * *
Excerpted from The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler.

Warped

I have come to the realisation that I am currently living three very different lives. There are three Lulwa's existing-somehow-in one body. There is the Lulwa with her friends, who laughs, chats, and just living in a world that seems to exclude all negative-except for the group politics and dramas. Then there is the Lulwa who is at home, her good friend's father has passed away and he is staying with us, so I try to cheer him up, while in my mind all I can think is: "how would I feel if it was my dad who had passed away?" and "he is so strong". Then there is the lulwa who is working on her PhD, listening to the news and has emotions that go from pure anger, to depression, to frustration-and these feels are for both my PhD and what is happening in our region.
How these three are living together, and actually surviving I have no idea whatsoever...they just are...I think it must be a bit healthy to have these feelings and this different Lulwas...no person can be the same wherever they go and whoever they are with. I have been called a chameleon before...and when I was first called that I took it as an insult. Bas I think it is normal...can you see that I am trying to convince myself?!?!?
You have to adapt, to who you are talking to, to the situation, place you find yourself. The lulwa that goes out drinking with her friends in West Amman, can't be the same as the one who goes to Saudi and visits her family there.
I have friends who tell me-with pride-that they can't ijamlo (humour others), and I used to think that this was a trait that I should foster. Bas I have come to realise that if you don't itjamil then you end up alone in the end. I am not saying that people should change drastically...aw compromise on things and ideas that they believe are fundamental. Bas I also think that there situations where one has to step back...and just smile and let people think that everything is ok...wallah I have no idea if I am making sense...and not sure which lulwa is speaking right now...bas it is a thought that I have been having. The strangest thing is when I am speaking to a friend on the phone-so friends lulwa is on-and my parents call me...the clash between the Lulwas is very odd...and very obvious to me...my voice even changes!

Death

The images that we see daily on TV, the movies that we watch all have somehow made us-or let me not generalise made me-unable or more like accustomed to images of death and people dieing. I had to rethink that yesterday. My dad’s best-friend, my mom’s best-friends husband, and my childhood friend’s father passed away yesterday morning from Cancer. He had been ill for awhile, and I guess it was expected. But I have always been unable to go to hospitals and don’t have the ability that others seem to have to deal with illness. So I didn’t go and see him as much as I should have.
So yesterday when I finally woke up, I found the house empty, only to talk to my father and hear the bad news.
For the rest of the day, I just sat at home and was thinking about it. I have never had someone close to me die-so the idea or concept of death I have never really had to deal with. Well that is not true my grandparents are all dead other then one, bas I was quite young. The idea that someone is gone, not for a trip, or for immigration, or I don’t know, up to the moon…bas just GONE. He will no longer make me laugh, he will not longer make my father laugh-and he was one of the few who could do that-I will not longer be able to talk to him about the situation in Palestine, and hear him analysis it. It all just hit me at different points last night. Bas I think the distressing thing is that my friend no longer has a father. I have no idea how that must be like.
I am an only child (and so is my friend), and to be honest my worst fear is my parent’s death, la2no then I will be completely on my own. I have friends, I have a very supportive extended family, bas my parents are my backbone. To imagine my life without then just feels me with the greatest fear…my hands shake just thinking about it.
I always watched in movies as little kids were explained death, and I always thought that it was a hard concept for a child to understand. But after what happened yesterday, I realise that it is a hard concept FULL STOP. One of my very good friends was telling that ‘Lulwa you need to re-evaluate how you view God and religion’, for it seems that when his grandmother passed away he became more religious. Bas I can’t, or more like I don’t want to, I have always believed what I believe, and that is after a lot of discussion and a lot of self analysis. I was never able to see how people become religious when someone they love passes away, la2no my thought is why take someone I love away? Bas that is beside the point, I am just sad, and I am deeply moved…his death has awoke a side of me that had become complacent with all the images that we are bombarded with.

My he Rest in Peace. I will always remember him, and what a great man, father and friend he was.

lets not forget

I was watching on aljazeera the demonstrations going on around the world becasue of what is happening in Palestine and Lebanon...and I was proud to see the Arab street waking up again-and in Jordan especially.
But I was disappointed to see that the Iraqi flag was not side by side with the flags of other two nations suffering.
Let us not forget that in Iraq people are dieing daily...that they are being killed, they are suffering, and that it has been going on for awhile now.

The three flags should be held just as highly as each other!!!!

Article

If Israel has the right to use force in self defence, so do its neighbours.
Ahmad Samih Khalidi
Tuesday July 18, 2006
The Guardian

And here we go...

So Haifa was hit, and they are asking people to leave there homes in the South of Lebanon...while on Haaretz they are proudly stating that Veterinary services offer food, shelter to abandoned pets in Nahariya...WTF MATE...as for me...after watching Beirut being hit...and realising places that I had been to...bridges I had driven over...shops I had walked pasted...I am getting more and more bitter...more and more depressed...and more and more proud of what Hizbullah is doing. For the first time Israel is feeling what we as Arabs have been getting used to. Haifa mayor, Yona Yahav states, "It has been a sad morning for us - the type of morning we are not accustomed to since the [1991] Gulf War." I have no sympathy...I never thought that I would reach a point where I would read a statement like that and still feel nothing...al they are not accustomed...well its about time they did get accustomed.
I am not going to get into if what Hizbullah did was right or not...worthy or not...bas right now the priority is for Lebanon to stay united...like they did when Syria was forced to leave...the important thing is that at least Hizbullah is able to fight back...I don't know...last night I was talking to a friend of mine who had always been quite moderate in his opinions...and he was so angry so frustrated that he had changed...he was talking about how we should terrorise them...that we should do whatever we can to make them uncomfortable...miserable. I don't know if I am making any sense...my mother is still in Lebanon in Beirut and we currently have no way of getting her out-the UN is completely confused and well hopefully in a few days they will ship them out-I am worried...but I talked to her last night...and she was like Lulwa this is not about people anymore, this is about Lebanon and the cause-adiyeh. And it is...and that is why Hizbullah has to continue...Hamas has to continue...khalas dala3 and khalas just talk...at least someone is taking action!

The best thing...

I was out with my friends last night...and all I could think about was my book that I had left on my bed...turned inside out...waiting for me to come back to see where Lyra and her Deamon will end up.
I love that feeling. When all you are looking forward to, is to get home, make a hot chocolate-yes I do that-and sit in ones bed reading a great book.
I used to do it all the time in the UK...and lately I have repicked that habit up...best feeling...I SWEAR!

Woke up...

I woke up today to the sound of my phone beeping...opened my drowsy eyes and read a message from a friend of mine: "fuck they bombed Beirut airport its been closed." I had to read it at least four times, for I knew what that meant...a friend of mine is in Beirut right now and he was supposed to fly back today...well instantly I jumped out of bed, ran to the TV to find my dad already watching. I texted my friend in Beirut, only to hear more bad news from him, that all the taxis were full and he didn't know how to get out.
I sat on the coach and thought of my mama, she is also in Beirut...we tried to call her bas as was expected all the lines were busy...finally my text message got to her, and bless her heart-she's not that good with technology-wrote back a three word reply: "ok at home." My dad and I could relax, home for my parents in Beirut is in Broumaneh-up in the mountains-also my mom works for the United Nations, fa I knew that if the shit really hit the fan they would have my mom (and other UNers) out of there in a jiffy!
So then we sit...and the news starts to get worse and worse...Israeli navy entering Lebanese water...bombing a school behind a UN building in the south...and the final thing now...making another zone in the south (20 km into Lebanese land), exactly like how it was before the 'liberation'. I am on the Haaretz webpage...confirming or denying the news that LBC and Aljazeera are reporting to my father...we finally got through to my mom...we called the house phone from our land line...and she was cutting and we could not hear her clearly...and that really freaked me out...my little mama all on her on there...and I just wanted to cry...still do...but I know it will be ok. I know that watching the news-especially how my dad does it, none stop-makes it all seem a lot worse then it really is...bas I am worried, I am scared...and I am angry...what are they doing...why are they escalating it so much...why not negotiate...give back the prisoners and take back your two soldiers...why do this...WHY?????



p.s. my friend did find a taxi, one taking him to Syria...and then from there he would have to find one that will bring him to Amman...am waiting for a text from him to tell me that he crossed and is in Syria.

Pottery

I've lost it...the energy or ability to write in this blog anymore...or maybe it is more to do with the fact that I am just fed up with Amman...I just can't seem to get over the block that has occurred in my life...it includes so many things. My inability to work on my PhD...just look blankly at the word document-this inability has lead to other blockages...I am just not very happy...another blockage is my single status...I actually like being single...bas usually while being single I end up liking someone...at the current moment there is absolutely no one I am interested in...just BLANK...and that is just plain boring. Anyway how after festering in my fed upness for so long...I have decided that it is time to do something about it...I think I should take up a hobby...a good friend of mine has just moved back to Amman...and so I have someone to share this hobby with...fa am thinking of taking up pottery classes (I know not very exciting bas give me a chance to make things and then break them to vent the ever present fed upness and frustration)...if anyone out there knows where one can take pottery classes in Amman...and if anyone is actually still reading this blog...ha...please do help me get rid of this fed upness and mild-depression I am festering in right now...I would be ever so grateful:)

The blue angel turned into a devil

I know that what he did probably cost my team the WORLD CUP...bas I still think that Zidane is one of the most amazing players in football...and I was truly saddened to see him walk off the way he did...and hearing people saying things like "its Zidane's walk of shame"...yada yada...blah blah...what he did was an overreaction...bas that is what it was...a reaction, I wonder what the Italian dude said to him...bas still I salute him and his game.


Zizou one of the Gods of football!

I am impressed

I am not a big fan of the Lebanese...bas once in a while they do something that reminds me of why they are so amazing as a sha3ib. I am been thinking and writing about how it is a shame that we in Jordan are not doing anything to show our anger and disgust at what is happening in Gaza...only last night I was arguing with people about it...and today I open my gmail account to find this email waiting for me:

Dear all,

A group of university and youth organizations around the country are organizing an open sit-in in light of recent events taking place in Gaza. It will take place on Wednesday, July 12 beginning at 3:00 pm and is tentatively going to extend until Sunday. It will be held in downtown, next to the dome in the bahs area.

Wednesday is mostly a political rally, but the next four days will be full of cultural events such as
exhibitions, concerts, films, lectures, etc. as well as workshops that teach kids to make slingshots, learn Palestinian dabke and other fun activities. In other words, we are aiming to make this into a street festival that celebrates resistance and the will to live.

On Monday and Tuesday July 10-11 between 5 and 9 pm we hope that we could gather as many people as possible to help us prepare for the event. We need to come up with slogans, banners, kites, and other material. You are all invited to Nadi Al Liqaa to help out. (Nadi Al Liqaa is in Ain Mreisseh, facing Jumblatt mansion, it is a small yellow blg. There is a white iron gate just outside the main entrance, you go down the stairs and you will find us).

Please send this email to whoever you think is interested in joining us or even in attending the events. We need as many people as we can gather to make this event a success.

like I said...so impressive...just a group of people sending out emails and it gets to someone in Amman...am considering to go to Beirut to join in on this activity...bas won't it be better for us to arrange something similar...the bloggers of Jordan...come on...

Total silence

I came home last night, and found my father not watching the football...bas looking at Aljazeera live in silence...there was no noise coming from the TV...and I asked him why it is on mute? He looked at me, and said its not...then we sat for two hours in silence, watching as Israel bombed Gaza! It was the strangest thing...for it to be in silence...yet to know that the sound must be shaking children out of their sleep...and I was sitting with my dad...peacefully in our little house in Amman...watching as the forces of Mordor enter Gaza!
I went to Raising Yousuf today...and reading how people are living just saddens me so much...its so depressing...and I don't know what to feel or what to think.
My father-being the liberal radical that he is-states ever so quietly that they should just have killed the soldier. He is a soldier...not a civilian...that the Palestinians can not possibly use the same tactics as Hizbullah did...that al-Qaida must have finally arrived in Palestine-this new Army of Islam-I just sat and watched as the electricity company went up in flames. I wanted to cry...bas what is the point...aw use of that...who will it benefit...other then to make me feel better...bas as I sit here I don't know what to do?
Why is the Arab street not out demonstrating...my father was saying inno in his time-when he was my age-he was out there...they all would have been out there-where are the student of Jordan University? Why are they not demonstrating...why am I not demonstrating...why is the conversation I am having online with my friends about where we will go this weekend...Aqaba willa stay in Amman...why are we not talking about what do we do? Where do we go to show our disgust...our disapproval...oh why oh why?

EarWorms

In the Guardian today they had an article about earworms-those sticky tunes that people can't get out of their heads. There was a study conducted that states that 99% of people at one point or another had an earworm.
What triggers the retrieval of a particular song - making it come to mind and get stuck in the head - is not exactly known. It might be anything: a title, a thought or a reminder of past experience that somehow is connected to a melody. Or it could just be a few notes that prompt the brain to refresh the memory and find the missing parts of the song. "Earworms seem to be an interaction between properties of music (catchy songs are simple and repetitive), characteristics of individuals (levels of neuroticism) and properties of the context or situation (first thing in the morning, last thing at night or when people are under stress)," says the scientist conducting the experiment.
They also found that women are more susceptible to earworms than men. And musicians more than non-musicians. The reason for women being more susceptible is unknown, bas they say that is could have to do with the fact that earworms are more problematic for those inclined to worry, and women had higher neuroticism scores than men.
The way of get rid of a earworm, is to sing, 'eraser songs'-those that have a mystical ability to eat any other earworms. Singing the eraser tune rids one of an earworm but risks replacing it with the eraser song.

Top 10 earworms

1. Kylie Minogue, Can't Get You Out of My Head

2. James Blunt, You're Beautiful

3. Baha Men, Who Let the Dogs Out

4. Mission Impossible theme

5. Village People, YMCA

6. Happy Days theme

7. Corinne Bailey Rae, Put Your Records On

8. Suzanne Vega, Tom's Diner

9. Tight Fit, The Lion Sleeps Tonight

10. Tiffany, I Think We're Alone Now

I think we need to add Haifa's song, Boos il Wawa...any other suggestions for Arabic songs that become earworms?

Who shall we cheer for?

I have found this webpage that ranks the countries in the world cup mish according to how well they play or anything connected to them actually playing...bas they are rated according to the following:
* Life expectancy
* Poverty
* Military
* Aid
* Climate
* Inequality
* Health
* Debt
* Corruption
* Companies
* Human rights

So according to it, the number ONE country to cheer for is Ghana...ha!!!! And the worst team to support is the United States (30th)...my team Saudi is the 28th team to support...and my second team-the one I really want to win the World Cup-Argentina is: 8th!

Check it out and see how well your team does or does not do: Who should I cheer for?

Obvious Thought

I have been looking at the Palestinian blogs...and seeing what people are writing about what is happening in Gaza...and I know this is obvious...bas I am so sad...so upset...truly to see my people going through this while I sit in the comfort of my house here in Amman...worrying and thinking about the Saudi match.

Disgraceful!

That I have become so detached from Palestine...from what is happening in the world...living in the comfort that my parents have provided...I seem to have forgotten that there are bigger more important issues...troubles in the world...how disgusting is that?

Disgusting!

Tunisia vs Saudi Arabia

There are days that I hate the Guardian!!!! This was in it today, under the title:

Who to cheer for when the result doesn't matter

It's tough finding opposition truly worthy of the Saudis. Not only is it the nation that brought us most of the 9/11 hijackers and Bin Laden, it's also the Bush administration's most trusted ally. That's before we get to the lack of democracy and women's rights, oil pumps and capital punishment. With that and the two most obnoxious wings of the war on terror covered, the Saudis leave a lot of space in the centre and midfield for human rights activists, environmentalists, humanists, democrats and feminists to roam freely. By comparison, Tunisia's record of torture, political imprisonment and suppression of dissent barely features as a handicap. Get on those red jerseys and watch the Carthage Eagles soar.


But I say...GO SAUDI...good luck today!

My father and Palestine

I am sure we are all upset about what has been happening in Palestine...the killings on Gaza beach. The image that sticks with me is that of the girl crying over her father's body. It touched me the most, and I almost cried just looking at the anguish in her face. I am very close to my father, and when I saw that picture I knew that my father would be going through a really bad time right now. He is Palestinian, and as I have grown-and by default he has grown-he has become more and more prone to depressions when the news comes on about Palestine. I guess that it is normal, I know that other parents-or people of that generation-feel the same...and go through those feelings also. Bas to see it on my dad effects me the most...obviously...to think that if my dad has stayed in Palestine, that girl could have been me...what must she be feeling today? How does she go on knowing how her father was killed...seeing his dead body? I don't know how I would feel about the whole thing, would I want revenge, would I just mourn like other people do when they lose a parent? Or is the fact that he was killed, that she was next to him when it happened...saw the blood...saw his last violent minutes...make it harder for her to get over it. Wallah I have no idea, but I do know that images like that make me sick to my stomach. I have heard people say that Palestinians vicimize themselves, that we are making the situation harder for ourselves, bas I have no idea how anyone can say that, when we see what happened in Gaza.

HAAAAAAH!

A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.

"Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?"

Moshe replied, "I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So I switched to the Arab newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!"

Friends: when to get rid of them

If new survey-based evidence is to be believed, friendships among the under-30s last an average of five years or less. We all know that sometimes it is best to lose touch, but who should you ditch first, and when? We present a handy guide to friendship shelf-life...

10 years-lifetime: neighbours who are doctors; people who possess compromising photos of you; family members; hangers-on; co-dependants; imaginary friends; low-maintenance friends; fellow monks; friends who might conceivably one day be in a position to dedicate a book to you; people with access to libellous gossip.

5-10 years: cell mates; those changed by fame; those who can't adjust to your fame; best friends who subsequently marry your ex; schoolfriends who grow up to be stupid.

2-5 years: work colleagues; drinking buddies; fellow book club members; user-friendly school-gates acquaintances; the amusingly rude; the indiscrete; flatmates who remain unemployed for this duration; friends who side with your ex; friends whose spouses you can't stand; anyone who fails to notice that you have been carrying a torch for them all this time.

1-2 years: vicar, prior to child gaining place at C of E school; friends who know famous people but fail to introduce you within the allotted time frame; teens who congregate on the corner near your regular parking space; friends whose shortcomings, it transpires, closely match your own; restaurant owners; dinner party deadwood.

6-8 months: Tories; sister of former boyfriend; anyone pregnant with triplets; friends-of-friends who are planning a lavish party; people who can't drive; web-based friends; anyone whose surname you can't remember after all this time.

1-3 months: ex-boyfriends/girlfriends who clearly don't want to give things another try; acquaintances who strike you as capable of burglary; fellow reality show contestants; upstairs neighbours.

2 weeks or less: acquaintances made during a management team-building exercise; anyone you meet on holiday; anyone who appears to be able to see right through you.

24 hours or less: fellow passengers in stuck lift; fellow passengers on stalled train; first colleague you speak to on first day of new job; person sitting next to you at wedding; strangers in a position to do you a favour but subsequently decline to help; famous people you have met when drunk; anyone, 24 hours before the Earth explodes.

60%

The Militant Feminist Quiz:

You Are Almost a Militant Feminst! Not too bad, but you can do better. Keep working on it- maybe try kicking a few guys wherever you want to, then start lighting them on fire. Slow and steady wins the race, okay? You've got a long way to go, but I think you'll survive.

http://www.spacefem.com/quizzes/militantfeminist/

My Mom!

I have come to realise that I am extremely mean to my parents. Bas I am especially harsh on my mom, I don't know why. I know that I am a daddy's girl...always got my way with my dad, he was my companion while my mom was working (he is a stay at home dad), used to come home and watch Mary Poppins with him while we have lunch...he makes the best Homous with meat I have ever tasted...and it was always me and him against my mom.
But my relationship with my mom has always been a bit on the rocky side, I love her, and enjoy her company-for a certain amount of time-but then we start to fight, we start to see how far we can push the other. I know that I have very high expectation of my mom, I expect her to understand me from only two words, sometimes without me having to say anything, I expect her to feel the same about things as I do, I expect her to act in certain ways, to behave in other ways...as many expectations as she has of me, I have of her. I guess that is why our relationship is so volatile sometimes, it's because we are just so similar, our weaknesses our strengths, just the way we view life, I have come to realise as I grow up and get to know my mom not only as Mama bas as Fatoum, that I am a carbon copy of her. She has in a way molded me to become her, and even though Khalil Gubrain states that: You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. Seems like my mother didn't listen to this Prophet!
Don't misunderstand me, I am very attached to my mom, her opinion of me is the most important one, that in all I do and everything I strive for is for her to be proud of me, for me to hear her says, "Wallah I am so proud of you." I know that she has worked so hard all her life, to make sure that I am provided with all that I could ever think of-am an only child and kind of spoilt-but I also know that with all this have come a list of expectations that I think would go around the Earth three times if my mom had a chance to write them out. Guess this shows how weird and complicated the relationship between mothers and daughters, I can't seem to make a good comment about my mom with adding something negative next to it. Just as when she sees me going out somewhere will say "nice shoes, bas do you have to wear that colour? "
Bas I am very mean to a great woman, and have decided that I need to become softer with my mom, to allow her to need me, to allow her to disappoint me I guess, just to allow my mom to feel comfortable with her daughter.
Guess that we no longer are mama and beintha, bas Fatima and Lulwa!

FUNNY!

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian priest is resorting to some innovative theology to rid his church of young women's bare midriffs.

"God knew what your navel looked like even before you were born, so there is no need to expose it in church," commands a sign at the entrance to the church in Cinisello Balsamo.

Guards at major churches in Italy routinely keep out people wearing skimpy attire. But Father Felice says he resorted to the signs because his parish cannot afford guards to keep out the low-cut jeans and high-cut tops, newspapers reported Monday.

Saudi

The world cup is upon us, and as a proud Saudi woman I have decided to place my faith and attention on my national team. Inshallah they will do wonders for us!!! Their first match is against our fellow Arab nation, Tunisia on the 14th, and eventhough I hate the fact that the two Arab nations have to play against each other, bas GO SAUDI!!!!! I know that in the last world cup they kind of fucked up-yes we all remember the 8-0 game against Germany-bas the time before we did end up in the second round...fa fingers crossed. Thanks to The Religious Policeman-who is no longer to blog...truely sad by this...I found that there was a Miss Saudi in the Miss World Cup competition and she really is a Saudi...lol!